Millinery Musings

Greta, I am thinking Inkka
warriors use Chullo hats for
helmets. I, too, wear Chullo
helmet, like great Inkka - we
braveries have much in common. - V

Me, I am thinking Inkka derive

from "Ink" so they be great penners of stories,
like I, writing memoirs...we "Inkers" have much in common. - G

Wonderfully we wear our Peru heads, don't you think? Let us admire once more again...

INkka Style

We are bestowed Inkka hats similar exactly to ancient Andean Inkka people for centuries!

Very strong empire Inkka build with these Chullo hats! Largest empire ever in Amerika until Pizzaro, that ублюдок, put last Inkka to death exactly 474 years ago this very day! We wear hats in sorrowful tribute for Atahualpa, last true Inkka king.

Many thanks to our люди for bringing us these Chullos from far-away Peru, they esteem our guarding and valor greatly.

Lonely Gnomelies

Guarding home while люди away in South Amerika but became lonely.

All safing except for aggression-bearing grackoons and sparking skwerrils who act for if they own deck. Birds we do gnot mind unless dropping dirty businesses on our heads, this we dis-appreciate.

Annoying Moais kept in place fearing us greatly. Small green one nowhere seen - surely he fleed in great fear, large one remains fronting near cars.

One large intruder with white scar we scare off with brandishing weapons and Russian curses, though faced with superbly heinous stink. We frighten him much, our bravery and our fierceness gnows gno boundaries...

Faithfull to family fiefdom, dauntless to ever death, Protectors of perimeter
-- Greta and Vladimir, valiant homeys.

Gnoble Gnomes

Now - holding sparkling fire on stick -- it is like gnoble gnomes again.

And small Big Moai Head is nowhere to see! Heh, heh, heh to him, I say. We celebrate our gnobility - call for sword, I hear many dangers!

Vladimir! You cannot do sword...after power machete incident and gnitting gneedles! (another story, another time.)

Ach, you so worry! We are homeys, holding much responsibility for when all are away soon and we hold all safeties in our grasps!

Meanwhile....

Heh...heh...heh...
Moais make much merry mischief on Vladimir, such easy bait with big buttons to push.
Must try not to laugh...
laughing bad for Moais...
...can crack face...

Gnasty Moai

проклятый!
Where did annoying
little Moai go to?

I know he is close,
I feel his дерзкий eyes upon me...

Ха!, you think to sneak up on Vladimir!
Нет! Vladimir sees all! You will have many sorries, little green сорняк! I have many eyes and you do not shiver my gnerves of steel!

Gnightmare

Am I in a bad dream?
From where is this small Big Moai Head from? Look, Greta, he mocking me!
Go away from me, you small insignificant вредитель!
Go away, or I blow пукания toward you!

Royal China

Today is actual birthday!

We receive special gifts from small fans -- royal china with our gnames! We are much honoured by such празднование!

спасибо to all who celebrate with us (and not with Harry Potter) - We await to next year to have 110 years...

one hundred & gnine

развлечение party, many fans arrive with gastrognomic honours, but highlight was pheGNOMEnal cake... note stoned wall we are standing on on cake. Our человек draws cake this time by herself! We are so proud!

We are gladdened by all who came (and did not stay home to read Harry Potter book) and very happy to be of such важность to our люди and their friends.

Greta and Vladimir (with Golden hat) and Greta

Gnome Talk

Our день рождения party is this weekend!- Greta

да! Our 109 years! How exited to show off stoned wall!- Vlad

Ah, wall you got stuck in, and our little человек lift up you out?- Greta

эй! I jump very hard, she need barely use one arm! - Vlad

эй! I am there when she "jump" you, do not выдумка to me! - Greta

Gneanderthals

We have built Great Stoned Wall! Yes, our work is masterful! Gneanderthal gnome ancestors were expert stoners back in Cro-Magnome days! Greta, please to help me get to other side, I seem to be built-inside great stones! Many admirers we will have of our craftsgnomeship.
- Vladimir

Oops....

дерьмо!!!!!!
- Vladimir

Safety ggogles

For me, I like the ggogles. They are such stylish and look like I am real writer that I am, with my gnom-de-plume for writing our memoirs.
- Greta aka "Gretchen"

Obi-Wan-Gnobi

See how I massacre bad shrubberies with large power machete. I have much responsibility and charged with many duties which are included guarding our yard, slashing invasive weeds, and protecting against intruders...to speak of, where is Big Moai Head? I must brandish large power machete at his Big Moai Nose.
- Vladimir

Ready for our close-up

We have been discovered! Soon we are even famouser as inside YouTube video! With experiences as world travelers, we are chosen to test city guides - very important job. Perhaps we open Piglet Bank to buy iPhone.

Mo Go

Big Moai Head. Hey, Big Mo, you want to mow lawn? yuk yuk yuk.

Vladimir! You are mean. He is guest, like us.

All the way from Easter Island, are you EGG HEAD? yuk yuk yuk!

остановитесь! Stop throwing insults.

I rather throw him! Back to Easter Island! Where is Easter Island?

Moai

So, he is "Moai" from Eastern Islands. Which Eastern Island - Nantucket? Big Deal, Russia is farther by much. - Vladimir

I think he said EASTER ISLAND, not Eastern Islands - Greta

Easter Island then, not spring from ground like tulip! We were not born last week, for what does he tell us these ложь?! - Vladimir

Perhaps he jokes with us. You have such easy buttons, Vladimir. - Greta

What a gnuisance!

Mr. Giant Head With Big Nose is раздражающий me!

Oh, продвиньтесь, Vladimir!! Do not judge so harsh on him, he is новый

But, Greta, this is our город...We made our footprints here! First!

Vladimir, do you not listen to my слова? Remember, this is People's Republik of Cambridge, not Gnomes' Republik of Cambridge...we may open the worms if we bite our thumbs at him.

Heads Up

My but he should have such very vigorous roots! - Greta

нет, нет, Greta, I do not believe he grow up from ground like tulip, Pooff, overnight. It is not possible. нет. - Vladimir

But where from then did he originate? He was not there, and then, forthwith, he was there! Overnight! - Greta

If he grow up from ground, then he is like weed -- invasive species of weed. This is our lawn... - Vladimir

Oh Vladimir, he is not nuisancing us. He is not even taking much territory... -Greta

...our yard... - Vladimir

...and is profoundly quiet... - Greta

...our family... - Vladimir

Beside, if he speaks the truth and did grow from ground like tulip, then he will return to soil very soon. We will see. - Greta

...invasive weed...- Vladimir

Gnew Guy

Where did HE come from? - Vlad

He is not much friendly...I am somewhat боясь. - Greta

ХА! Do not be afraid of Mr. Giant Head with Big Nose and агрессивный attitude, I protect us. - Vlad

Listen, Vladimir, he hums. It is very low, can you hear it? quite...похожий на привидение. - Greta

These are our семья...this is our house... - Vlad

His face does not be happy...maybe we take first move and say "привет"? - Greta

...our yard... - Vlad

What is this humming? It is very...powerful...- Greta

We were here first. - Vlad

Homeys

I will take nickname too. I hear Suisses apply to us "little homeys" remember? (I do not know what "homey" is. But now you are writer, maybe you know what is homey.)

My псевдоним is not nickname, it is PEN-name, for me to be writer!

Homey, maybe is like "home"? We make house into дом. We protect our домашний and человеческая семья who lives here with us. And we assure the Calcium. We are guardians. Homeys - like guardians.

If we are guards then I must have sword!

Have pen will write

Greta, You always writing now. Always the pen and the papers. And secret writings.
- Vladimir

Oh Vladimir, I am given псевдоним by important International Visitors from Suisse, I write our memoirs and we make history!
- "Gretchen" (aka, Greta)

Greta, I think you become swell-hooded with your new псевдоним. To call yourself Gretchen does not mean you do write history.
- Vladimir

Gnom de plume

Vladimir, you become jealous because I am given gnom de plume, a псевдоним, and you have not. My псевдоним is Gretchen!

да, I receive important visitors this weekend from Suisse and Ashley bring me псевдоним, since I am important writer now, and deserving of gnom de plume and they give me Gretchen! да, they come just to visit famous Blognomes. Our известность is spreading! We become large stars. It is good we hide under sunglasses so папарацци do not so much always take our photos. - Gretchen

gnome gnightmare

Is Greta gnome favourite? I fear as every one like her but I think смешной! She be all shy and I misundertand how that helps. Not good for favourite ones.

Gnosferatu

Mistaken identity. We are not infamous Greta and Vladimir innkeepers from Dracula film. We had not even yet alive then! Many dastardly characters we have acquaintanted with - mayhap Rasputin  most dastardly of all, but we acquaint not Transylvanian Count.

OK, now aliases cleared, regard snow gnomes from big storm last month when we were forbidden from computer... not to mention any names or point fingers at anyone named Vladimir...

Gnomore misbehaviour

Much grudging contrition for becoming Trouble and we be ground and banned from computer for whole entire month.  Anon.   We are plethora missed by Fans of Gnomes.
But, now we triumphant return to bloggsphere and we ponder Birthday celebrating... 109 years we will have this 23 July and we plethora much partial to vanilla frosting atop chocolate cake. 
...And where is photo of snow gnomes?

Gno Gname Calling!

Verily oh contraire!  Erasing nothing of the sort!  We Free Range Gnomes!  Amerika is free country, we voice all expression  under Amendment of free speech.  We say anything!  We do anything!  We... unstoppable!   Freeeeeeedommmmm!

Gno Permission!

Vladimir! We gnot permissioned to blog now, we will be plethora trouble!  Erase! Erase!

Gnomenclature

Just who you are calling "pill!?"

winter pill

Vladimir, why must you have such the block on your shoulder?

Do you miss bitter wind stinging through robes, hoods crusty with ice, fingers stinging pain? You previous curse Winter in Petrograd, now you full of bluster.

Stone Cold Gnomes

We Gnomes of Olde Worlde born and bread in real cold weather -- cold as tear freeze on cheek, as winds bite eyeball, as dogs stick to trees!

Verily we hear plethora complaining on mere 20degrees under zero - true winter in Petrograd we tredge many miles up hill... each way, brave bitter wind.  We laugh, Хa! at New England winter. "Хa!" we say, "ХА!"

Gnome Gnationalism

Regarding hoods, most secret and sacred of gnomish garb... we plethora proud to be Old World Gothic Gnomes - few we remaining.
(Tacky New World Gnomes porting red pointy hats and flushy cheeks ubiquiting on lawn and garden, advertising selves very cute. вот ещё!) 
We summon Jurassic Jaws to exhibit dominance over behatted New World species....
Tacky Gnew World Gnomes cheeks flush... like toilet....

Gnome Whisperers

Hmmmm... a mystery! Mayhap hoods render we invisible?  Verily we appear unseen by many... who carry on like we deaf... or worse, statues of inertness.

Verily, even we be wildered to hear murmurs we unreal...  What is real?   If we pricked, do we gnot bleed?  If we tickled, do we gnot laugh?

Great fortune our humans encourage we roam freely on yard, deck, shrubberies. We plethora help with yard work and BBQ.  Also, we very much enjoy cake!

Gnome Whisperers

Hmmmm... a mystery! Mayhap hoods render we invisible?  Verily we appear unseen by many... who carry on like we deaf... or worse, statues of inertness.

Verily, even we be wildered to hear murmurs we unreal...  What is real?   If we pricked, do we gnot bleed?  If we tickled, do we gnot laugh?

Great fortune our humans encourage we roam freely on yard, deck, shrubberies. We plethora help with yard work and BBQ.  Also, we very much enjoy cake!