Thanksgiving

Pah, Turkey is peasant food, gnot for Royal Romanov Gnomes like us.

But Vladimir, now we dissidents, we eat Peasant Food!

You be dissident and eat turkey! I be Royal and eat Turkish Delight! If turkey so great, why gnot eat other days?

Mmmm, perhaps turkeys die only for special occasion?

Ghost Gnomes

We veritable phantomes in gnew ghosting outfits!

Yes, but wishing we see how spooky-looking we appear...

Surely we dazzle treaters with bright spookiness!

Hmm, mayhap we practice a bit on spooky noises...gnot to startle (like "boo") but more to give shivverings with ghosting sounds...

Ooooooh! Whooooooo!

Many Happy Хэллоуин!

The Gnome Ranger Rides Again

Bad shrubberies trouble again!

I, Gnome Ranger, bring order to misbehaving plantings...(after I make some bit of dis-order first.)

Shrubberies fear me and obey!

Back to work!

Guest Stars

We make guest star appearings at CCTV blog to give tips for Treatings!

Yes, we invited to re-appear for awaiting fans to tell safeties for driving, treating, and gnot to have incident like last year when Vladim...

Greta! Please gnot to return to unfortunings of last Halloween!

...eat ALL Halloweening candy at once...

Greta! Ssshhhh! Could happen to anyone...

...and then be FAT...

Noooo! You pulling my buttons to bring up last year!

...and have sorrowful tummy pains...

You dissidenting me! You wear black and suddenly...

Ah, Vladimir...I tease, yes, for dark humour!

Paint it Black

I become диссидент. Wear black, make dark humour...

Greta! You truly gone сумасшедший. We Royalists; specific to dissident protest! We the"diss" of dissident!

But look me, I rebel agitator...colour very suiting to me, yes? Admire me such styleful dissidence....

Mmmff! Mayhap you be dissident for Halloween, but gnot for life!

StarStruck

Greta you become silly with звезды in the eyes for celebritty dissident poet Gneighbor!

But Vladimir -- calling of my passion is ascension to litterary status of true writer! And she gnuine Russian writer! Like Tolstoy! With fame! She so proximitate to me, my heart beats words...I feel truly now is time for I become truly litterati...

фыркайте! proximateness gnot transfer talent...writerliness gnot contagious like cold or flu or pox!

Mmm, perhaps she make real borscht... like in olden days... we share soups and scripts...writer to writer...as colleague...and mayhap I become диссидент too!

Greta, remove stars out of eyes right now! We royal Romanov gnomes, we cannot be dissident!

Gnoah's Ark

Ahhh, we make quick time trip through Black Hole to ask ancient Biblical Flood Master for best practices advices! Truly Gnoah gnows all...we must find Komrade Gnoah...

Vladimir, carefully to nudge walrusses behind you, they have large tusks!

Flashbacks

Finally!
Return we to fans awaiting with patience! We much busy with floodings... even Vladimir superpowers gained from Black Hole gnot strong enough to hold back flood when pipe burst. (Hmm, mayhap I revisit Black Hole to increase strengths...)

GNO, Vladimir, better we take on one of your flashback from previous dark matter adventure and revisit Ark and Noah for advices.

Of course! We both attend since we are two-by-two for Gnomes.....

One with the Universe

Ah! I return to Earth with infusions of power and strength! I One with Universe! I become Gnome of Infinitty!

And look -- pedestals await! Truly, I belong on one!

Most appropriate for gnew status and as "Gnome of Universe."

We Approach and Ascend...!

Gnew and Improved

Feeling myself better yet!
Moleculars to reorganize!

Mayhap I absorb increased powers and strengths! Mightier than before, full мощный and динамический!

Look how I aerial over small blue planet Земля! I return gnew and improvement!

Back to Black

Emergency plan for reconstitution Vladimir - he “there, but gno-one home” - returning him to Black Hole.

Moon is passed full cycle with gno improving. I worry greatly and have also some boringness as he has 1,000 mile starings to forever…

Plan thusly to heave Vladimir into Dark Matter for revive molecular structure and find Old Vladimir.

Wishing luckiness in such dangerous experiment...один, два, три...!

Gnot the Same Gnome

Helpings to us please!

Vladimir gnot self since returning him from Dark Matter Gravitations in Black Hole!
Gnote wild eyes and vacuum stare into infinities...gno swaggerings and brandishments any more! Gnot gnormal to be such calm!

I terrible worry that he perhaps самозванец and not Vladimir!

Incoming!!!!!

Powerful Vladimir break free of extremist gravity for return to Cambridge, Earth!

Such faith from Gnome Fans (and to Ancient Gnomecestors) who send wishings and whooshings to return I to Gnormal!

Many thank-yous to believers in strength and integritty of Vladimir who triumph against powerfulness of universal dark matter...I returning!

Gnarled Gnome

Twisting painful...many directionals!

To invoke helping from Gnomecestors of Past...

O, священные предки..
спасите меня!
Я - неприятность...

Must return to Gnormal family and gnot be Ground...must return...must return...

Ohhhhh, such contortions...focus to break freeeeeee!

Warping

There is some oddness feeling...
Greta! Do you see I here?

Greta?

Where am I gone? I am in tangles!

Help someone?

помощь!

Gravitas

ohGreta!ImovetooclosetoBlackHoleandgetsuckedinside!

Vladimir! Warnings again you un-heed when I say not to look too close to Dark Matters!

TrulyIwillbecrushedflatlikeoplatky!

Arrgh! Must to find un-gravity magic to outten you from Dark Matter pull so strongly!

HurryGreta!Hoodonfirewithgravitypressure!помощь!

Gnothing Escapes a Black Hole

Greta, enough of Gnome-smearing blogg...come to HubbleSite where announces more troublesome trouble: "Black Holes are out there... but what are they?"

But what are such holes?

Hmm...places hungry to devour all to grow large and gain gravity, which grow larger and hungrier so they swallow more, so they become more larger and more hungrier so they swallow even more so...

Oh NO! остановитесь!! Nothing escape, not even light! Oh, Vladimir, such terrible news upon us! What to dooooo?

Mmm...we save universe from black bottomless pits?

We are Innocents!

Accusations Abound!

Engadget insult and endanger Gnomes with racist remarkings! We rally with supports!

Swear-by-hoods, we do no-thing for UAE ships drift off anchors and malicious cuttings of cables...true we find trouble some times, but...

Technically, ourselves, gnot "garden gnomes"...

не брать в голову! Suggestion is danger to all Gnomes, beyond only red-hatted tacky-garden gnomes of which we much deride!

We are, ourselves, very innocent! (This time.)

The Gnew Grey

Oh, admire us our Springy outfits!

Truly tie-dye is the Gnew Grey!

We are Gnomes of Colour in hipp trendy style! Myself, I wish for some green splashes...

How well we look in gnew hues, truly we are hippest gnomes ever...

Let us to hope we are not groundest Gnomes ever...

Squeezy Bottles

ahh -- under stealth of night we examine squeezy bottles of color!

very colorful colors...

mmm, yes, more colorfulness than grey...

yes...bright and cheerful colorfulness...

colorfullness to look well on robes of grey...

Noooo, we must not be Trouble and be Ground! Stay far from squeezy bottles...

But if squeezy bottles of colorfulness "accidentally" spill on robes of grey...

RetroGnomes

Admire us in tied-death T-shirts so colorful and retro-ish!

I believe we say tie-die...

Still I am wishing we tie-die robes & hoods instead...grey very dull-ish... I quite like to be "gnome of colour..."

Yes, but quite fun to be hipp in T-shirts...very 60s...

Ye-es, but imagine robes of tied-die colorfulness... truly we might look wondrous hipp...

There's Gno Place like home

наконец! We make stealthy leaving and eject safely from blog!

Yes, much reliefs to be with earth and finish fearsome adventure! You next time heed to wise warnings!

We must be quick to not be caught on computer here and be ground...

быстрый! быстрый! Flee to deck...

Now what?

We arrive with welcome party, but where we are? Please извините меня, where is way out from Montgolfier?

We still loost, Vladimir! Very happy to see grass on ground but to leave this place? I am missing very much our little ребенок!

Yes, yes, Greta, we leave, but not to appear rude to welcome delegation for our arrivals. We make remarks and take leave with quiet stealth...

Land Ho!

Many fans jump on basket! Perhaps we receive royal greeting delegation to meet famous bloggstar gnomes... I make speech...

"Ahoy! We welcome ourselves, Vladimir and Greta! Do not worry on us, we are unharmed and in good healthiness!"

Vladimir! Ask where we are! Maybe they dis-acquainted with our famousness near and far...we do not gnow if they be friend or foe!

"Ahoy...uh...avast...friendy people, where is it we are come to?"

Carried Awaaaaaay

We looost! We looost! Oh Vladimir, I make warnings! помощь! помощь!

Relaks, Greta, open eyes to enjoy сценический view of Ural Mountain tops...fill lungs with good Russian oksygen...unclench fists...you have fingers tight like stone!!!

Ohhhh! I have much fear and гнев with you! Do not try to converse me until I kiss earth under feet.

Point of Gno Return

Aggh, basket tips! What...

Nooooo! Vladimir doooo something! We leave the earth! помощь! помощь! Please to save us!

Too late, we heave up! Hold tight...

I have great fear of highs! Oh we such Trouble now! Вы никогда не слушаете меня! We so doomed! почему Вы всегда получаете нас в неприятности? I gave warning! помощь! помощь!

Gnatural Curiosity

Ah, I arrive! Now for investigate. Hmmm, very interesting in side. Greta you climb in too?

I think not! Is плохо idea!

But look Greta, many pens and notebooks, surely you -- as writer -- like to see notings of voyages...

Pens? Notebooks? Hmm, my mind suggests not to listen, but yet...to see stories of voyages... OK I come in, but just for short peek...

Curious Gnomes

Such largish basket! Greta, come close that we investigate!

Ach, Vladimir, surely you make us Trouble and we will be ground. We do not trespass and snoop.




Of course not! We just look. For education purpose only! So much you worry...Help me to see inside basket! Much equipment or supplies inside there, I wonder... here, give me help up so I see...

Hot Air

Ohhhh, regard Montgolfier Adventure air balloon! How I like surveying from such airness!

Nooooo, Vladimir, I am much afraid of highness and floating...

Such brighly colours on puffy balloon...come, we go aboard...

Me, I think to run from balloon web page...

Greta, just to take look and see inside of basket....

Rushin' Russians

Wheeee! We лыжа with President Putin and Russian Olympic Committee President Leonid Tyagachev...

President VLADIMIR Putin...

Yes, you two too take traditional name...

Be care full, Greta, make attentions, you ski in front of estimable President Vladimir!

I much like Krasnaya Polyana ski area...

Gnaturalist Gnomes

But look, I find blue blog agree well with me! View of Hrvatska very nice.

Hmmm, Greta perhaps you come down from up there...I am hearing of some few "Naturalist Beaches"...

замечательный! I love natures very well -- animal, vegetable, mineral... maybe I learn some Croatians...
zivotinja...povr'ce...

No, Greta, *ahem* "Naturalist" is "нагой"..."голый"...Not hood...not robe...

!правда?! Such the дикий & сумасшедший Yugoslavians! They all must very красивый or else much смущающий!

Loost in the Blogosphere

Help, Vladimir! I am loost!

I jump to find you in greenish blog with lllllamas but here you are missing to me! Please to not go invisible again, or we will be certain ground and not have party!

Where you are? Where I am?

Oh, I am much distressed!

Blog Hopping

Greta! Look how I hop to gnew blog! I am so swiftly!

It becomes easy to me...you try. Looking very nice and greenish here...funny animal with too many "L"s and dopey eyes.

приехать step inside with me! Greta! We make visit!

A Wider Gnet

We find creative technologies blog! Parley us into site with much печать technologies to change communication and make buzz!

What is buzz?

Look, Look! They invite us into conversation! Our famousness runs very far! Is called...A Wider Net. Come, we enter site!

But how we do make buzz?

Make lips ... and малина.

"Б-Б-Б-Б-Б-Б-Б-Б-Б...!"

Sound very...rude, I think.

Nevermind that, we invited to Wider Nets! Enter site to converse!

Gnock Gnock....

Ah, no one there, but hark, computer calls for us! Do we sneak in for making blog, while no one looks?

Hmmm...is good opportunities, but we must have care full not to be Ground...and not have party. Do not make us Trouble...

Think of blog for us to address fans...look, computer awaits...!

Climb to chair or jump to table to reach? Levitations must be strong for our accesses!

Mirror Mirror...

Ah, but I am handsomeness!

Regard my regal выражение лица! Such diagonals look strengthful on my shoulders...truly my bearing becomes отважный...color is very well to me, don't you think Greta?

Greta?

Greta, where do you go? Return and admire me...us...Greta?

The Gnomes' Gnew Glothes

Regard us stylish outfits received for Christmas from our семья! Their own hands to make beautifuls scarf and knightly sash!

Oh how we admire us ourselves!

Notice, Vladimir, advantages of visiblity. If you remain invisible, admirings would not be possible!

Mmm...yet invisibleness much fun for trickings. Now to parade gnoble gnightly drapings on annoying Moais for their many jealousies! Ha ha!

партия удивления

Dear семья,
After much considerations we would like surprise party very much. Also perhaps some orchestra and dances with Russian caviars. List of dignitaries we can discuss to invite, but no fireworks because loud cracks and bangs bring sorrowful memory of Russian Revolution and narrowness of escapes.

Dances with Russian caviars or Russian cavaliers?

Dances with orchestra musiks and caviars to eat...ah, such longtime since икра...ah, and maybe magician...?

NO magic! NO spells! (unless spelling bee) Do not make us ground before now to party. Remember trouble of tinyness and Vladimanies!

Another year, another birthday

с новым годом 2008! Already we progress two days of 2008 but yet no plan of our surprise birthday party! July approaches closer...time flees...

Perhaps plan in secret if to surprise?

Ahh, yes, for certainly! They plan stealth to celebrate us!

We must be terrifically patient to await surprise party, and truly good-behavioured and not ground, Vladimir! Try to not be mischief...