Help! Help!

Oh the indiGNity!
We captured and taken as slavery! 
Like common criminals! 
Beasts of burden! 
Oh! Oh!  Resist!  Resist!
Quick, make break for Pilates class... we run oppositely and gnot be taken down...

Intervention

Uh oh!  We soon evicting from Suburban Spa, dragging home against our will!  Oh, farewell to Reiki, Rose Petals, and Relaxation, back to daily grind -- work, work, work....

But mayhap one last Massage before check out....

MetroGnomes

Truly Suburbanning is like Spa...ahhh.
Such relaxation and pampering we have here!  Delighting in such decadence... splash splish!
Mmm, massage I think?  Or Yoga?

Mayhap I have manicure....

We so vacationing in Suburbies...

Spoiled Rotten

Aaaahh! This the life! We Suburban Gnomes now!
We Guests of Honour and Appreciating!  Toasty and dry indoors with TV and many delightful popcorns and ice screaming!
Truly we become celebrities of Lexington ...declining to return home where we are not provided popcorns or TVs...
Hmm, mayhap I gneed such hat as intrepid archaeologist Jones...

The Bright Side of the Moon

Sparkly lining to cloud of Mission Delay... we remain earthbound to offer birthday whishes to Reignome who collect gnine years this 13 day of Gninth month -- hmm, mayhap 13th day would have been unlucky for travel anyway...
We sending joyous greetings and calcium to strengthify growing skeletal structures of true FOG (friend of gnomes).
Gnock Gnock...
С днем рождения!!!!

Houston we have a Problem

Delay of Moon Mission Accomplished!
Such sorrows not to launching voyage of giant step for Gnomekind but truly, star astrognaut gneeding much recovery from trauma of dastardly disc drama.
Many thank yous to fans for all petitioning GNASA... Mission Control waiting patiently for my speeding recovery.

Paper Moon

Many fans sign petition to delay moon mission for me.
I file papers with GNASA for them to know such popularity signifies public opinions and strength of support for Vladimir the Valiant to be First Gnome on Moon.
Truly they gnote my significances.
A thousand curses dastardly discs disrupt my destiny.

On the Disabled List

Moon mission approaches and still I disable myself!
What to do! What to do!
Truly it is destiny for me to be first Gnome on Moon... there cannot be understudy for such great footprint!

Please sign petition to Powers Who Be for delay of launch until necking problem subdues.