We Attractive

Ah, understand!  Snow magnets - attract consistent snows.  we cultivate magnet powers for elements...

...elements - gold, silver, uranium...?

No, elements as weather.

Prefer we moguls....not magnets...

Gnor'easter

Snowfall amplitude wearying.  And undignified. 

Yes.  We become... blobs!

Hummocks!  Snow bumps. Mere moguls.

Moguls!?  Moguls?  Ah, we Moguls... titans of industry.  Magnates...

Magnets?  Yes, we snow magnets!

Gnomus Major

Regard!  We discover appropriater constellation for Zodiacal signs!

Celestial Sphere, Gnomus Major!

Certainly from Eudoxus of Cnidus' lost catalogue of constellations - 400 BC!

Yes, or mayhap Ptolemy! 

We truly Timeless...

New Zodiac MisGnomer

From regal king of beasts to walking-sideways-crab?  Is joke? Such undignification we dislike with many vehements.

Yes we fall from grace... Leo to Cancer! Such insignificance!

And faintness, too!  Cancer is faint constellation. 

Bah!  Regard! Gnot even look crabbish!  Where do Astrologicals see crab resembling such randomness?

Truly I think I see better lion than crab in arrangement...

Thunder Snow

Oh woe are we!

Falling branches crash over us!
Lightning! Thunder!  Heavy snow!

Regarding us in mortal danger!

Brave we are, we intrepid snow vitamins, we survive!

Uh.. you mean to say veterans.. we intrepid snow veterans!

Fur Auld Lang Syne

Remembering why we gnot so cold back in olden years.

Yes, furring robes quite comfy and stylish!

Truly we look exaggerated, yes?  Furrings suiting us royally!

Admire us our hot look!  We ready for Gnew Year!  Thanks to Elizabeth-the-Great!

Hunkering for the Holidays

Abbreviated days return with extenuating gnights.  'Tis the season to hunker.

Yes, we hunker for cold and dark.  Truly the air becomes chilling! 

Soon we hoard Christmas candy and gifts.  Supposing we do some shopping soon....

Solstice will turn days longer finally.  We hunker till then.  *sigh*

Dopplegangers

Hark!  We yearnful to discover Doppleganger ... and yet ... even I sense they present...

Yes, truly I feel they promixate to us this moment!  in back ground...

But where?  Regard thoroughly around - mayhap they await discovery...

A Snickers Bar Too Far

Alacrity, Greta!  Clear coast for escaping embarrassing ER visit...

Tch! Vladimir I foretell such disasterings for  ingesting Hallowing candy in same swoop! 

Desist, desist from admonishings.  Truly tummy pump punish many folds for gluttonous mistake.  We make tracks before fans gnotice....

Loot!!!

Ah such loot we reaping from local Trick and Treat!  Truly Hallowing most lucretious holiday!

Alas 364 days exist until next Hallowing...  we begin feast!

Vladimir, recalling gluttony of some previous years - mitigate yourself to gnot eat all candy in once!

Tch! Greta, speak gnot of ancient histories ... great pains in tummy emanate from... from... change in weather, gnot candied abundance....

Dark Gnights

Ghoulish disguising for Hallowing!  Truly, we ghastly!

Yes and we spectral, too!

Yes, spectral and macabre, and mysterious yet!  Even we throw fear to all who approach.

But gnot mailman.

No, gnot package delivering humans.

Tree Range Gnomes

Hyperboled wind blew rigorous to cleave mighty elm tree!

Truly, snapping like toothpick!  Debris smother our yard and neighbour yard.  Regard such damage! 

Alas, casual chimney rip by roots!  Such miserable sound tearing twisted metal crashing...

We must come to rescue...  we trek to roof?

Red Riders

Regard us a new toy!  Powerful engine!  Large openings!  Smelling greasy with petrol!  Ahh!

Yes, and also gnice colour of red like traktor...

We investigate power switch...mayhap we gneed helmets to ride...
 
Mayhap we investigate before mounting --

Batten down the Gnomes

We chase hurricane with powerful persuasion.  Truly we have lengthish wait for alphabetations to "V" for Hurricane Vladimir. 

Ah but fewer wait for Hurricane Greta...

Hapless to be Omega area of Alphabet... 17 hurricanes between Earl and Vladimir.   I await my close-up!

Meantime we be battenning down...

Fenway bound

we bored! august days with too much dog. 

gno traktor. gno power tools. gno coffee. gno humans. gno capitals. we much bored.


We seeking excitements - mayhap RedSox fans recognizing us world famous gnomes? 

Regard us awaiting on steps for ticketing....

Birthdays R we!

112 years we have now!

Truly gnome years pass different from human years.

Yes, still we adolescenting! 

Me, I still prefer 111.  Much gnicer number.

When we permitted to operate vehicles and heavy machinery?

Hmm, gnot sure enough gnome years ever for that...

Many happy birthdays to us!  We live long and prospering!

...it hums for thee....

Hmm.  Mayhap different button ingition us?  We residual at stationary location!

Mayhap we bias a bit more forwarding?  OK?  один...два...три -- lean front!

hmm. Yet gnothing. We inertiaed!  Law of Gnewton -- we bodies resting remain resting.

How to initialize motion.. hmmm...

Ask gnot for whom the lawn mower hums....

We gnotice grass gneeding shave... ah look, smallish tractor...  surely gnot hard to arouse and mobilize...

Vladimir, this predicting immediate trouble!  Step away from enginey thing...

Hmmf, you rain no fun on my brilliance!  We helping with yard maintainment!

Yes, recalling "Gnome Ranger" of power hedge trimmers last time...  Hurricane Vladimir punish yard...  i fear...

No fear, we watch many times humans ride lawn tractor.  Help me look for "start" button....

Rain Reigns

We serious flagging still... see how we committed?!  No aliasing here, suspicions arresting.

Yes, we just homely gnomelies... make ready for anticipate deluge... flashing floods... great torrenting of downpours...  we securing perimeter... mayhap we switch on sump pump at critical moment...  where is ark when we gneed...?

Red, White, & Blue

Look!  We all Stars & Stripey!  Gno Russian spying here!  We aggressive patriotic!

Fearing we magnet suspicion now with news break of Cambridge Couple secret Russian spies.  We thinking Cold War finish, but mayhap Warm War.

We so famous; gnatural we attract gnotice!  Truly we just law-abdicating citizens!  We know gnothing!


Ahem, mayhap we sing American nationalist songs .....!

ET Phone Gnome

Ahem, Vladimir... mayhap alien request to present to Leader, not Weeder?   He gnew with English, so likely garble some languageisms, gnot like we who discourse variedly with vast vocabularies!

Perforcely you surmising, Greta, gno doubt he missioning to Leader - interestinger than weeder!  Mayhap message from outerest space for all Gnomekind!  Rightly he selection us for contact!

Such excitation! 

Red Among Reds

Looking quite brilliant to camouflage... he in guise of red, to blending with plethoring of red flowerings.  He barely gnoticed among such vermillions!

We witness to truly intelligent alien life arriving for Close Encounter; we at precipice of historical creating! 

However, concern with weeds still some bit confusing....

Take Me to Your Weeder

Truly we inhabitation of spritely garden, far between few weeds!
In fact, we diligence weeders, togethering tall human weeder too.  You like to meet obsessing weeder human?  She quite funny-ish.  You like weeding?  Weeding much on your planet?  Why so silencing?  You mayhap awesomed to my fearfulness?

Close Encounter of the Gnome Kind

Look, Greta!  Alien arrival!  Gnew life form approach!

Honest, Vladimir, sometimes I think you quite alien...

He friendlyness...  approach to shaking hand.  What greeting we say of alien visitor?
Доброе утро!   Как дела?  Откуда Вы прибываете?

Hmmm... he silences!  Mayhap he fearsome of me..?  Quite possible... likely!  I make ease for him....

Flower Power

Ah such smelly flowerings, surround splashing colours and ancient druid secrets.   Truly springy feverings rampaging, flower power awaiting. 

Mayhap I recalling recipes for spelling cast... er, for casting spell... use of such flower plantings in olden days quite powerful....

Hmmmm.... what to spell?

Lawn Service

Hark!  Who dare plant such banner... here?  Whom calling "pest"?  Such implication we disappreciate!

Tranquilize, Vladimir... truly over react. 

Pfffff!  Suggest we apply to be pest?   Suggest we applied at lawn as pest?  Suggest...

No one label us "pest"... 

AH, mayhap a typo... in truth suggest we "Best" .... others gneed gnot to apply?

Cloak of Invisibility

Such gnews!  Invisibility cloak!  Truly objects vanish from view in three dimensions!

Hmmf!  Dubiousness of such magic.  This gnot Hogwarts.. this Cambridge!

German scientist... Karlsruhe Institute of Technology!  Former Kernforschungszentrum Karlsruhe...

Vladimir, we trying invisibility once, you recalling 2007 November?

Here, I quote Science: "Invisible cape...made of crystals ...air spaces ... bend light to hide...

Agh, here goes we again... invisibleness gnot suiting to me!!!!!

UNundead at last

Aaaggghhhhh!  Such conversions from UNdead to unUNdead! 
Negating moleculicity of structurals between worlds....  exhausting truly... I drain... but gnormal at last.

Why such events always befall Vladimir, who only wish peaceness and safety for all... truly we need vacation.

2B or not 2B

Cure to riddance of UNdead Vampyrishness!
Under moonish night... dig deepish circle hole... line with starlight and raindroppings... two clovings garlic at bottom.
Make breath then, hood-in at 64 degree angle... for all blood to fall to head... inhaling garlicky fume... counting to 100.

Opening eyes to see if reflection yet in dark of hole.  If yes, then Vampirishness solution successfully!

Up a Tree

You there, small boney one!
You daren't descend -- fearing unDead reefercussions!
Truly I ferocious you up up up and away from lurking and haunting gnuisancing!
HaHA...I guardianing gnobly as unDead.... you stay high and ... awayish...

Twilight

Now I hang with celebrity вампир - Truly, I and товарищ Edward ... we become chummy ... hang out ... chew fat... drink pints... (though truly, we regard Bella some bit boring.) 
Mayhap Cullen adoption to family... hoping they gnot regard me competitous (for alpha vampyre...) some вампир a bit gnasty... and scary!

Quoth the Gnomen, "Gnevermore"...

Owwww!  Full moon call me!   I rise to occasion, open cloak, take wing, like летучая мышь...

Vladimir, full dramatics call you! What you up to now with towel?

True Vampyre needing respectful cloak!  I borrow...Mayhap I quoth "Nevermores"...

Nevermore qothed by Raven, not Bat!

Gnosferatu

Agh, save me from loathfull self -- such sorry tragedy to become UNdead...

Vladimir, I tell you, we gnot UNdead, you gnot Vampyre!

...how happened this ghoulishm?  Mayhap ancestrals from Transylvanian descent... very adjacent to Russia...

Vladimir, you desist such insaniting!  And remove sillyness of tomato hoop...

It is cage...for I be dangerous! I roam earth under cover of gnight, search for... oh too terrible to consider...

Ach, serousness - if you truly Vampyre, so why you out making such moans under cover of bright sunshine?

Here be Vampyres?

Mayhap we be Vampyres?  Truly not reflecting

Hmm, dubiously we NOT-dead, which similarly not as UN-dead....

Truly, NOT un-dead, which be double negativity...which mean...

Opposite....Wait....!  We... dead?

Ah, for certain we see some hazy imaging... please?

Worser and worser...

Mfffxxxxbbbbff!  Soon we be frozen fossils, bury for epochs under glacier layers....

Mmff! Mfmbmbff!  Geologists discovery our bones with mastodon skeletons and peaty materials!

Ohhh, we doomed, we doomed!  Where Global Warming when so gneedy!

Mfffmfmfmf!  To rescue!  Melt us! Set FREE us from frozen tomb of silentness and white!

Avalanche?

Mmmffff... this MUCH undignified!

We cannot see out!

Or speak out!

We buried!

Mffbbbffxxx...

How cold was it?

We gnot cold!  We hardy Russian gnomes... where bones bite from true fridgidness.  But truly, it blows fierce wind today....

Scarfs just for decorative... fashion announcement.

Mm, mayhap you mean fashion statement...

Yes, statement of us to be not cold. 

Mayhap we find fashion statement hat too?

Boxing Day

Merry Boxing Day!   After busy gnight for help Saint Nicolas with some few erranding, we exhaust of chimneys!

But gnot of presents! Regard such gnice stockings, full and puffy...

Yesterday we wrap, cook, deliver, clean...finally we scrub from sooty stacks to open herewith stockings!  Christmas not happen without we helpers.

Today, we boxing.

Yes we much deserving of OFF DAY.... so hard working are we....

The Day After

Regard us our gnew heights!  Truly hats grow taller than we.

And, we survey blizzard postmath, beautious wonderland, like olden days.

Much shovel and scraping ahead, we mayhap start handing out shovels.... we such helping hands, truly we "keepers".

And mayhap we stay up for midnight New Years?

Hat Envy

Ah, freezing snow makes truly glamming Santa hat with me, think you?

Hmmm, ye-es, but once melting, it likely flop over again... but mine...

Regarding puffy eleganting of symmetry, truly I musing right now my hat quite more bigger of our two...

Well, right now...is tricky,  as sun moves to us I thinking you lose superior hatting.

Fawlty Hat

How to be Christmas Gnome when my hat refuse to cooperate!  Much encouragement needed for it to stand tall.

Yes, truly my hat raise tall and pointy!

Fmmmf!  I try but my hat habit to fall over to side.  Arrggh!

Yes, MY hat much the stronger!

Get your Gnomes out of the Gutter

Hmmm, some few leafs cloggiing gutters...much twigs and dirt...

Very slopey steep up here, I feeling gravity slidings...

And what be these smallish clumps?

Ahem....seemingly raccoons using roof for...

Ewwwww...!

We best wait for help....

Skeleton Standoff

выйти! Shoo! уйти!  Haunting time long gone!  Away you brittle bundle of bones!  Poof!  You disappear now!

We all seriousness!  You, скелет in tree!  We come and get you!  Gno hiding from us...we gnot kidding!

You femurs not toooo scary big!

Hmm, I afraid of height!  Mayhap I am stuck!

Liquid Gnomes

We dissed on FaceBook for "back-seat yardworking"!

Regard you our diligence, slavering away in such pouring rain...

Up on slippery ladder - we so small and mere - to reach treetops for snippings and shrubbings...

Robes leaking cats and dogs... soaking in eyes and noses...

We so Gnonappreciated...

Garden Gnomes

we make marveling effort on branches and shrubbings!  Many piles of debris!

Yes, look you busy as we pose for photo of efforts and accomplishings!

15 barrels of branches and weeding!  We make marathon yard cleanup!

Mayhap we now ask for ice scream and popcorn?

Tied in Gnots

Aggh, we entangled with stringed Jacking Lantern and scary skulls!  They not ridding of us, we tied up!

Already time for next holiday lightings and decoratings but we ensnared with binding lights!

Hostages to Halloween!

DejaVu all over again

Wondrous fortune to set clocks back day after Halloween! We re-experience yesterday once more...

Vladimir, I think we do not reset clocks full day, only full hour.

...two Halloweens, twice the candies...truly 2009 maGNificent year...should we re-dress?

Vladimir, listen!  Sad to disappoint, but 365 days until we Halloween again.

Magic Trix

Mayhap we do some entertainment for great sucking up for Hallowing permissions to Trick & Treat?
Yes, a song... a dance?  I read poetry?
No, much better -- a Magical Show!  Ah, I know amazing trick... Greta, lie down.. just here...

Oktober!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uh oh...Oktober arrive... we must settle Strike!
Ah yes, best behaviour for Oktober!
Release signs and pickets!
Truly we lucky for home and family!  Yes, we much appreciating good fortune!
Still some few weeks to resurrect good graces and charms... 
Yes, yes, we throw off all attitudes today.  Mayhap some yard clean-up for startings?

S-T-R-I-K-E!

We demand rights!
And conditions!
And rights to conditions!
We see movie Gnorma Rae... 
TV, popcorns, ice screams!
Manicures, Massage!
Power Tools!