Gravitas

ohGreta!ImovetooclosetoBlackHoleandgetsuckedinside!

Vladimir! Warnings again you un-heed when I say not to look too close to Dark Matters!

TrulyIwillbecrushedflatlikeoplatky!

Arrgh! Must to find un-gravity magic to outten you from Dark Matter pull so strongly!

HurryGreta!Hoodonfirewithgravitypressure!помощь!

Gnothing Escapes a Black Hole

Greta, enough of Gnome-smearing blogg...come to HubbleSite where announces more troublesome trouble: "Black Holes are out there... but what are they?"

But what are such holes?

Hmm...places hungry to devour all to grow large and gain gravity, which grow larger and hungrier so they swallow more, so they become more larger and more hungrier so they swallow even more so...

Oh NO! остановитесь!! Nothing escape, not even light! Oh, Vladimir, such terrible news upon us! What to dooooo?

Mmm...we save universe from black bottomless pits?

We are Innocents!

Accusations Abound!

Engadget insult and endanger Gnomes with racist remarkings! We rally with supports!

Swear-by-hoods, we do no-thing for UAE ships drift off anchors and malicious cuttings of cables...true we find trouble some times, but...

Technically, ourselves, gnot "garden gnomes"...

не брать в голову! Suggestion is danger to all Gnomes, beyond only red-hatted tacky-garden gnomes of which we much deride!

We are, ourselves, very innocent! (This time.)

The Gnew Grey

Oh, admire us our Springy outfits!

Truly tie-dye is the Gnew Grey!

We are Gnomes of Colour in hipp trendy style! Myself, I wish for some green splashes...

How well we look in gnew hues, truly we are hippest gnomes ever...

Let us to hope we are not groundest Gnomes ever...

Squeezy Bottles

ahh -- under stealth of night we examine squeezy bottles of color!

very colorful colors...

mmm, yes, more colorfulness than grey...

yes...bright and cheerful colorfulness...

colorfullness to look well on robes of grey...

Noooo, we must not be Trouble and be Ground! Stay far from squeezy bottles...

But if squeezy bottles of colorfulness "accidentally" spill on robes of grey...

RetroGnomes

Admire us in tied-death T-shirts so colorful and retro-ish!

I believe we say tie-die...

Still I am wishing we tie-die robes & hoods instead...grey very dull-ish... I quite like to be "gnome of colour..."

Yes, but quite fun to be hipp in T-shirts...very 60s...

Ye-es, but imagine robes of tied-die colorfulness... truly we might look wondrous hipp...

There's Gno Place like home

наконец! We make stealthy leaving and eject safely from blog!

Yes, much reliefs to be with earth and finish fearsome adventure! You next time heed to wise warnings!

We must be quick to not be caught on computer here and be ground...

быстрый! быстрый! Flee to deck...

Now what?

We arrive with welcome party, but where we are? Please извините меня, where is way out from Montgolfier?

We still loost, Vladimir! Very happy to see grass on ground but to leave this place? I am missing very much our little ребенок!

Yes, yes, Greta, we leave, but not to appear rude to welcome delegation for our arrivals. We make remarks and take leave with quiet stealth...

Land Ho!

Many fans jump on basket! Perhaps we receive royal greeting delegation to meet famous bloggstar gnomes... I make speech...

"Ahoy! We welcome ourselves, Vladimir and Greta! Do not worry on us, we are unharmed and in good healthiness!"

Vladimir! Ask where we are! Maybe they dis-acquainted with our famousness near and far...we do not gnow if they be friend or foe!

"Ahoy...uh...avast...friendy people, where is it we are come to?"

Carried Awaaaaaay

We looost! We looost! Oh Vladimir, I make warnings! помощь! помощь!

Relaks, Greta, open eyes to enjoy сценический view of Ural Mountain tops...fill lungs with good Russian oksygen...unclench fists...you have fingers tight like stone!!!

Ohhhh! I have much fear and гнев with you! Do not try to converse me until I kiss earth under feet.

Point of Gno Return

Aggh, basket tips! What...

Nooooo! Vladimir doooo something! We leave the earth! помощь! помощь! Please to save us!

Too late, we heave up! Hold tight...

I have great fear of highs! Oh we such Trouble now! Вы никогда не слушаете меня! We so doomed! почему Вы всегда получаете нас в неприятности? I gave warning! помощь! помощь!

Gnatural Curiosity

Ah, I arrive! Now for investigate. Hmmm, very interesting in side. Greta you climb in too?

I think not! Is плохо idea!

But look Greta, many pens and notebooks, surely you -- as writer -- like to see notings of voyages...

Pens? Notebooks? Hmm, my mind suggests not to listen, but yet...to see stories of voyages... OK I come in, but just for short peek...

Curious Gnomes

Such largish basket! Greta, come close that we investigate!

Ach, Vladimir, surely you make us Trouble and we will be ground. We do not trespass and snoop.




Of course not! We just look. For education purpose only! So much you worry...Help me to see inside basket! Much equipment or supplies inside there, I wonder... here, give me help up so I see...

Hot Air

Ohhhh, regard Montgolfier Adventure air balloon! How I like surveying from such airness!

Nooooo, Vladimir, I am much afraid of highness and floating...

Such brighly colours on puffy balloon...come, we go aboard...

Me, I think to run from balloon web page...

Greta, just to take look and see inside of basket....

Rushin' Russians

Wheeee! We лыжа with President Putin and Russian Olympic Committee President Leonid Tyagachev...

President VLADIMIR Putin...

Yes, you two too take traditional name...

Be care full, Greta, make attentions, you ski in front of estimable President Vladimir!

I much like Krasnaya Polyana ski area...

Gnaturalist Gnomes

But look, I find blue blog agree well with me! View of Hrvatska very nice.

Hmmm, Greta perhaps you come down from up there...I am hearing of some few "Naturalist Beaches"...

замечательный! I love natures very well -- animal, vegetable, mineral... maybe I learn some Croatians...
zivotinja...povr'ce...

No, Greta, *ahem* "Naturalist" is "нагой"..."голый"...Not hood...not robe...

!правда?! Such the дикий & сумасшедший Yugoslavians! They all must very красивый or else much смущающий!

Loost in the Blogosphere

Help, Vladimir! I am loost!

I jump to find you in greenish blog with lllllamas but here you are missing to me! Please to not go invisible again, or we will be certain ground and not have party!

Where you are? Where I am?

Oh, I am much distressed!

Blog Hopping

Greta! Look how I hop to gnew blog! I am so swiftly!

It becomes easy to me...you try. Looking very nice and greenish here...funny animal with too many "L"s and dopey eyes.

приехать step inside with me! Greta! We make visit!

A Wider Gnet

We find creative technologies blog! Parley us into site with much печать technologies to change communication and make buzz!

What is buzz?

Look, Look! They invite us into conversation! Our famousness runs very far! Is called...A Wider Net. Come, we enter site!

But how we do make buzz?

Make lips ... and малина.

"Б-Б-Б-Б-Б-Б-Б-Б-Б...!"

Sound very...rude, I think.

Nevermind that, we invited to Wider Nets! Enter site to converse!

Gnock Gnock....

Ah, no one there, but hark, computer calls for us! Do we sneak in for making blog, while no one looks?

Hmmm...is good opportunities, but we must have care full not to be Ground...and not have party. Do not make us Trouble...

Think of blog for us to address fans...look, computer awaits...!

Climb to chair or jump to table to reach? Levitations must be strong for our accesses!

Mirror Mirror...

Ah, but I am handsomeness!

Regard my regal выражение лица! Such diagonals look strengthful on my shoulders...truly my bearing becomes отважный...color is very well to me, don't you think Greta?

Greta?

Greta, where do you go? Return and admire me...us...Greta?

The Gnomes' Gnew Glothes

Regard us stylish outfits received for Christmas from our семья! Their own hands to make beautifuls scarf and knightly sash!

Oh how we admire us ourselves!

Notice, Vladimir, advantages of visiblity. If you remain invisible, admirings would not be possible!

Mmm...yet invisibleness much fun for trickings. Now to parade gnoble gnightly drapings on annoying Moais for their many jealousies! Ha ha!

партия удивления

Dear семья,
After much considerations we would like surprise party very much. Also perhaps some orchestra and dances with Russian caviars. List of dignitaries we can discuss to invite, but no fireworks because loud cracks and bangs bring sorrowful memory of Russian Revolution and narrowness of escapes.

Dances with Russian caviars or Russian cavaliers?

Dances with orchestra musiks and caviars to eat...ah, such longtime since икра...ah, and maybe magician...?

NO magic! NO spells! (unless spelling bee) Do not make us ground before now to party. Remember trouble of tinyness and Vladimanies!

Another year, another birthday

с новым годом 2008! Already we progress two days of 2008 but yet no plan of our surprise birthday party! July approaches closer...time flees...

Perhaps plan in secret if to surprise?

Ahh, yes, for certainly! They plan stealth to celebrate us!

We must be terrifically patient to await surprise party, and truly good-behavioured and not ground, Vladimir! Try to not be mischief...

Who is the Alpha Vladimir?

Too many Vladimirs all konfusion! I am writer, I write new spell:

UNIFY Vladimir and his selves all
Make eleven into one
Keep him sized, not cute and small
And not invisible when spell is done!

Here, have Santa Hat when finished such schizophrenics...

Vladimany

Greta! Send false ones away, I am true Vladimir! They impost my place...

Not to listen, Greta, I am Vladimir, keeper of safeties and securities...

Greta, do not heed to them. I am real Sir Vladimir the Valiant of Calcium and Cambridge...

Will the real Vladimir stand up?

What happens here? Imposters all!

Who so bring many false Vladimirs?

Greta, you help me чистка these шпионы, yes, they probably spies...

Vladimir Multiplied

Ah, spell working! Vladimir multiplies to size...
Uh oh, eyes tricking funnies......two and three Vladimirs regenerate!
Oh no! Spell multiplies him by four! By five!

See video of Vladimirs becoming many...too many!

Snow Spell

Vladimir, new spell!!
We speaked aloud, but all whiteness in big snow.

To see secret spell, roll cursor to make invisible visible... we hold fingers crossing....please to return us largened Vladimir!

MULTIPLY VLADIMIЯ TO ЯEAL SIZE
SO WE SEE HIM WITH OUЯ EYES
TOE OF FЯOG AИD EYE OF ИEWT
GET HIM HEЯE FOR CHЯISTMAS LOOT!

Keeping things under his hat

Verry again not funny Greta!

Not at all, Sir Vladimir. You in hiding from green "friend"...

Is undignified! Cannot see! What if He sneak up again? Your fault, you misspeak spell and shrink me. Please largen or invisible me again. Tinyness is not suiting me.

My fault!? Who unheeding warning and speak first spell without carefulness?

...бормотание, бормотание...must find spell before annoying Moai find me...

Slowly he turned...

Aaaaggghhhhh!

Such terribleness to be close to ground at small annoying enemy size! Perhaps even smaller...must think fast and try niceness....

Oh, Esteemed Komrad Mold--uh--Moai, ten thousand pardons for historical annoyances! Shall we say truce and make parleys for olden times? Truly I jest in previous days with you...ha ha...please to stand a bit more distance from me...ha ha...

Payback time!

A thousand curses to these смешной tiny legs...

...they do not run fast...

...must find cover before annoying Moai learning of my misfortunateness...

...where to hide from him...?

Tiny Trouble

Oh No!!! Hide me! Look who come for tormentation of unfortunate Vladimir under tinyness spell!

I am sorry, Vladimir...perhaps I read wrong spell and make you shrink... but truly, you look terrifically sweet as tiny gnome.

SO not funny Greta. You must find spell to largen me...

Size Matters

Aggh! What spell you make me? Greta, Look!



No, down here! Look me down here!



Oh ужас! I think you shrink me small!

Small Problem

Aggh! What happen?


All suddenly looking different!


Greta! Where you are?

Sneaky Spelling

Noooo Greta Stopppp!
Do not read me spell! I do not want....

Hat trick

Ah, Vladimir, for once you listen me and wear hat! Is cold, and invisibility must be even more cold...

Special Inkka Chullo warrior hat very warm. Truly I enjoy invisibleness...no finding amazing disappearing Vladimir!

Yes, truly you are very invisible! (But, ha ha, now you wear hat and I find you!) I have no idea where you be...

Revenge on Big Moai

Vladimir! Return here! Cease from annoying Mr Moai head!

ха, Greta! I have payback time! ха ха!

But I find spell to return you visibility!

No, NO! I am rather to liking my invincibility! I sneak with such stealth unseen! And tease Big Annoying Moai head! Must find small green moldy one to push buttons now. Gno one can catch me! Bwahahahaha!

Invisible, not invincible! Is different. Please come so I say spell for reconstitute you!

...And Wrongerer...

Did it work? Is visibility yet returned to me?

Hmmm, not so much, Vladimir...

проклятый! Hands and feet still un-appeared...

Very sorry to report...you have gone all missing.

All? Complete? As I were not here at all? Aagghhh! Such terribleness this spelling business! What to do!? I will be such missed by all....

And Wronger...

Not funny Vladimir! Stop to saying spells, feet return but you miss top!

помогите мне, Greta! Thinking to reverse but I disappear variously too much!

We seek to find spell for "Kontrol Z!"

What is this "Z"?

Undo! Undo!

Things go Horribly Wrong

Vladimir! Your feet go missing!

What? проклятый!!! I feel legs but look -- not there! Invisibility wraps from belly down! но это ужасно!

You spoke spells, Vladimir! Cause such повреждение! Now how to repairing? Why always you such trouble! We will be ground again!

Oh, fix me! fix me! Quick, give magic book of spells again. We search for перемена spell... what повреждение!

Magic and Spells

Look Vladimir, I find powerful magic book from ancient times of Stoned Age.

We make clever plan to keep safeties from Gnomenappers. Read us some spells of invisibility and disappearings!

Be careful, Vladimir, magic is not toy...

Ach, Greta, worries always! How is worst can happens? See magic sparkles jump off page, they want to make us spells! Let me read one...

Time to Leaf

I have loost Greta! Does she hide from raking chores - not like herself... but....Understand since I am the stronger and more powerful rake.

I am not loost, you тщеславный рабочий! You blizzard me with leaves! получите меня отсюда! Most dark and itchy here! Escape me! помощь!! помощь!!

Ah, perhaps good to hide from Gnomenappers...but must be better way...

Gnomenapping in Oregon!!!!

Oregon Gnomenapping! Gnomes stolen from homes and held in Police Station.

Proof to need sword for defend not just home, but much valued Gnome blogStars. Our famousness bears much risk!

"We need to get them out of here," Capt. Richard Harrison said. "... they're sitting in my chair, working on my computer..."

Unclaimed gnomes to be… auctioned! How sad for homeless gnomes.

Ach, Greta, just New World gnomes…hats, color, beards, cheeks...blecch!

This matters gnot, gnome unclaimed is like death of soul…imagine no belonging! Vladimir, is your heart become stoned?

Hmm, what fun to wait in Oregon police station and sit at desk of Captain Harrison… I wonder… does he have blog?

Vladimir, make attention! Must we more incognitoly hide for safety?

Ah, I see, perhaps we too famous now...

LimeLight

Our famousness is infecting! Blogger Guru Bill Ives stars us on his popular Portals and KM blog -- so powerful in media world of web 2.0. All eyes will turn upon us...

We do well by lime light, do we gnot?

A bit green, I think we appear us ill.

Ah we are such born stars!

Porn stars?!!!

No, no, born stars, I say BORN stars!

Fat Vlad

Agh! Such embarrassment! Greta, what happens to me?

You eat all Halloween candies, that happens to you! Warnings I gave, and you never listen! First you sick to die. Now... now... you FAT!

This largeness I do not like. Starvations must come now!