You hear me now yet?

Hello? 

Hello?

Hello? 

Hello?

I move to front steps, you hearing me now yet?

Indeed I hearing AND regarding you... But... I hearing you from front door, not from speaker....

Gnome Phone

Hello?  hello?  Do you hearing me?

Привет? Привет?

Is this "on"?  эта вещь "на"?  

Verily, I speak to mouthpiece....

Indeed, I hear... but from around house, not through ear spout...

Better I descend steps.... do you hearing me now?

Mayhap we move closer.....?

So close... and yet....

Ow! Oh!  Much pain!  Methinks I well hurt!

Tch!  I make you grave misgiving!  Plank plethora narrow ... you plethora.... disbalanced....

Ohhhhh .... plethora miserableness!  Help rise me, Greta.  Again attempt me to walk plank....so close!  Verily I feel almost wind in hood for riding....

Stairway to Heaven

Ah, it returns!

Shiny!  Breathtaking!

Exquisite!  Ravenous!

*ahem!* wethinks you mean "Raveshing... "

We tremble with anticip-p-p-p-pation!   I shall ascend....

 Take care... regard plank... some bit unstable?

I walk the plank!  arrghhh!

Pay Gno Attention to that Gnome Behind the Snow

ahh yes... sadly snow and ice still encapsulate we... otherwise we offer selves for help.  To shovel... gather branches and debris.... clean up raccoon poop....

*ahem!* ONE of we released from ....

Tch! Tch!  I remain loyally 'til YOU release; we team!  we pair!  we infamous Gnomes of Cambridge!

Verily, YOU released from icy igloo.... YOU avail to offer...

Sssshhhh!  I remain obscure.... behind glacier...

Did we miss the apocalypse?

Ultra-coziness inside igloo!  Spooky quiet.  We plethora-insulated! 

And ICE-olated!

Hark! Hear... muffled noise...

Mayhap melting drips?

Supposing apocalypse while we cozy homely in here?  Supposing we emerge in spring to world ended... supposing...

Supposing we revel in no shoveling and more cocoa?

Ah.  Indeed. Cocoa.     Yet... supposing....

Igloo Test Kitchen

Hark!  More snow falls out there?  We hear soft thuds...

Indeed.   Snow must be in great pieces...  ground trembles as snow lands.  Like Giant Footfalls!

Mayhap some roof raking happening out there?

But in HERE, regard, latest culinary endeavor....  mmmmm.

Uh oh... odd number.  We make large one in halves to share...

Inside the Igloo

Oh we unlikely to see daylight until Springtime!
Snow heavying.... and silent!



Verily, quite roomy in here!

Comfy, too!  Snow plethora insulation!

Regard we in homely igloo!

Yes, we quite homely here!

Indeed!  Tea?

The IceGnome Cometh

Wethinks blizzard arriveth!   Plethora snow abounds...

Plethora and plethora!  Abounder and abounder....!  Regard, pitch white! 


Hmmm... we alone?  Abandon?  Mayhap we need some bit of help... helloooooo?



                                         Verily, I hear help approacheth! 
         Shoveling sounds ... come...  Rescue imminent! 



Hmmmm... Shoveling sounds cease.  All quiet on Eastern front...  feel smallish breeze to left?  Yet, we remain ... helloooo?

Noooooooo!  Oh!  Oh!  Surely we buried alive...!!!   Helllllpppppp!

a watched bmw never grows

Hmmmm.  Still quite smallish.

Yes she does grow up plethora slow, even as we await with much patience...

 ... and much anticipation...

Verily anticip-p-p-p-p-pation!

Methinks mayhap we water her.... to inspire... growth?

No, no... irrigations useless for BMWs....  try chocolates...!

The Return of the Gnatives

Prodigal Gnomes return.  With much anticipation of elevated Gnome-Appreciation while we away... roaming.

Tragically, BMW R1200GS was not birthday gift for we.  Verily, we feel much under-appreciation. Yes, we sulk, but we also forgive.

How fortunate we just in time for Christmas presents...oops, *ahem* just in time for Holiday Season! 

Much obligatory joyfulness. 

And gifting...

Woe is We

*sigh!*  alas, owner of shiny BMW is not we.  *sigh!*

But we have cake...and candles....

No open road, no wind-filled hoods... We blow flame, wish for ample shiny chromey BMW.  

...regard such chocolatey goodness...

Mmm... ye-es... chocolate ...  Still....

Testostergnome

Ooooooooh!  Ecstasy!  Regard we our birthday present?   Methinks a BMW R1200GS?!   

Truly our conduct of dignity and patients merits lavishness!  

Regard shiny eggy colour!  Regard most powerful engine!  Regard sparkley chrome!  Regard ample amplitude!  Regard ...

Hmmm... regard surge of testosterone! 

Anticip-p-p-p-p-pation

Joy and Joyness!  Anticipation of birthday gift ... promises of velocity and daring doings!

Mmmf, methinks also anticipation of sharing!

Plethora excitement!  Adrenaline!

...And testosterone!

Hardly we contain selves of excitement!  We quite incontinent!

*Ahem!* methinks you mean to say we "incontinental"...

A Mighty Wind

Verily, power returns!  Orange chord is plethora effective.  I make much wind, yes?   Greta...?    Speak, Greta?  I have made too much wind at you...?

*gasp*  unsurprised you have plethora air...  you are veritable bag of wind....  now... please to help me rise...

In Search of a Lost Chord

Eventual we achieve powerful power tools!  And one for each of we... brilliant we don't have to share....

But wait!  Where are big orange power chords to conduit power?  OK.... who "reorganized" and moved power chords....  We suspect mischief...

Irrational and infinite

Pie Day returns.  Once again we infinite and constant!

... yet so irrational...

Truly we might enjoy a small slice of something... blueberry?

... verily, we celebrate Pi Day with traditional pie eating...

And ice cream?  (For calcium, of course.)

Back from the USSR...

We return from Sochi Sojourn to much sneg and coldness.

And annoying Moai.  He returns... to taunt. 

Much fun had by we with speedy sleds and stylishly loud outfits...

Yes, his sneggness returns... Big Silent Moai... seven years since last invasion ...  from Eastern Islands....

Easter Island, not Eastern Islands!  Mayhap he brings Easter with him - we plethora ready for Spring!

And chocolate eggs, perchance..?

We Go Gnorwegian!

Regard we!

Verily we ziggy and zaggy!  Plethora... Norwegian!

Mayhap we become acuter curlers as we wear such loudness....

Verily we cuter...!

Curlier, too!

Thrill of victory, agony of the feet

Hmmm!

Verily, Hmmm!

Plethora steep.... Regard tiny human below...

Yes, plethora below...

"The thrill of victory... the agony of the feet!"   Ah, we soar to great heights!

Hmmm...We?  ...WE...?

Skeletonnnn!!!

Regard! Skeleton sled! Alone... abandoned... sized perfectly for we! 

*Ahem!* Methinks skeletons here property of competitors...

Smallish skeleton awaiting we to take for quick spin!  Gnot to worry - I return it ...soonish...

Gnaturally Curly

Hmmm... we find own selves amongst curls!

Yes, truly action-packed sport!  Indeed, we attempt finesse of curling!

But we lack brooms for frenetic sweeping!

Verily we lack loud trousers...

Wheeeeee!

FOURman bobsleddddd!

Two-man, Two-gnome bobsleddd!

Oh we hitch for ride!  We stowaways once more!

Pointy surprise for two-man should he sit back too soon....

BOBSLEDDDD!

WHEEEEE!   Practice run!

Wind fills our hoods!  Speed fills our faces!

Fear fills our hearts...!

Mayhap we try four-man bobsledd next?

Mayhap we return two-man bobsledd before we busted!

Postcard from Sochi

Greetings from Sochi, regard we participate with Opening Ceremonies!

We bear Olympic flag!

мы суперзвезды!! 

We are the snegg men, we are the snegg men...koo koo ka choo...

mmffff... plethora of sneg dumped on we. 

Verily, snegging abounds.  Mayhap we make sneggman in own likenesses.

Own likeness would make ...snegnomes...!

Hmmm, methinks a song... we are the sneggmen, we are the sneggmen, we are the walrus....

Yes, Walrus!  Verily 'tis arctically cold - mayhap walrus climate now. 

Old and Sighing

Truly, we old acquaintance each other ...  but we forget days of old and sighing?

No, *ahem*, wording is auld lang syne... means as "days of yore"...  poem of Sir Robert Burns....

Ah, yes of course.  Hmmm.... days of your... what?  Days of your... acquaintancing?  Songs?  Toasts?

No, days of yore... of olden times...

Ah, well, no matter... we toast ...  to count out auld year...   we welcome to 2014!

Hallowthanksmas

We do not understand "what's wrong with this picture?" 

Verily we abundantly feel portrait captures two of most favourite holidays of we.

What?  What is meaning of "over the top"?

Oh?  Really?  Why, yes, mayhap candies happen to both Hallowing and Xmas... yes, truly, we had not noticed such similarness....

We await arrival of Дед Мороз....

Hallowing!

Hallowing arrives! We awaight gnight fall!

Yes, trick and treating to collect candies.  We hoard to ration until next Hallowing.

Well... mayhap we celebration with small feeding frenzy tonight, THEN we hoard.

Hmm... hoard / ration attempt never goes successful.

Truly we joyous celebrate favourite holiday of Hallowing!

oh, and Red Sox take World Series at home!   esruC is desrever!

Abduction!

They come next for we!

*Hmmmf!* I un afraid of goofing wide mouthed Pac Aliens.  Many such Pacs required for strength of removing we.  We here for durathon.

...Duration?

We here for Duration.  Gnomes are forever.

Gnight of the Zucchini

Ah verily, a Harvest Moon - levitating Zucchinis from the ground...

Yes, we summon the Great Zucchinis... we chant, we invoke... Truly Hallowing is nigh...

Oh yes!  Hallowing! Trick and Treats! And costumes - we must address our costumes!

And summon some candy...nigh!

                                                       Mayhap we costume as Zucchinis!

Blazing Birthday!

Oh magnificent birthday present!  Our own personal fire engine!  We near swoon from ecstasy - truly we jackpot this birthday! Regard, firefighters run towards we... wearing party fireman hats...and party fireman oxygen tanks... they bring giant hoses and pickaxes to we... oh such gifts they bear for we! 

*sniff*  *sniff*  hmm... we smell smoke...Mayhap cake burns?  Candles on  fire?

'Tis the Season

Ahh tis most favoured season!
No, most favoured season is Birthdays - July!
Ok second most favoured season.
No, that makes Halloween.
OK... third most...
Christmas...
OK... Power Washing season most favoured season without candy.

Does this Robe Make Me Look Fat?

Methinks this robe makes my задний look big.... Reflection not sure flattering my best .... Mmm mayhap I try new style?  Or colour?  What observation you have, Vladimir?  Does robe make me look жир?  Vladimir?  Vladimir?

Me? Hmm?  Oh!  Regard! A squirrel!  

Every year is Year of the Gnome!

Regard Year of The Gnome!

Again? 

Yes, truly unusual!  Most assuredly we special.

With meteors over homeland, too!

Yes, truly we blaze, we dazzle!

Gnegotiation

Verily we gnegotiating tricky business of Porch Space Allocating.

Front Steps represent Primest Real Estate for Winter Season.

Emissary quite persuading ....and patient... we consideration him...

 OH NO!!  Something we say?

Speak to We!

Truly we receive Cold Shoulder!

Epic

The ice pile recedeth!  We see clearly now, the snow be gone...

EPIC snow! 

We hold fort during Epic Blizzard.  We steadfast ... neither wind nor rain nor....

EPIC snow...

We dauntless. 

We EPIC...

Oh, the Pressure! The Pressure!

We faint from ecstasy!  We palpitate! We breathless! We.... speechless! 

Verily we await "Rites of Spring" and "Season of Scouring" with anticipation, and some bit impatience!

Oh... to grip wand and experience surge of pressure.....ahhh.

Mayhap we need not to await for Spring... mayhap Winter Cleaning Ritual commence...

Gnu Year Wishes

We down for count to new year!  2013 we arrive soon!

Uh...methinks expression is "countdown".  Down for count verily signify something... else.

Ah, truly then we count down to new year!  We have much gusto!  And beignet wishes.

Beignet wishes?  With powder sugar?

No, beignet wishes -  for peace on earth, good will toward human and gnomes, more chocolate for all...

Benign wishes...?

Yes, those too.

Hoodlum

Oh look!  A smallish visitor!

Hmmmf!  Small annoying pointy creature.

Truly hood is pointy!

Methinks hood dis proportioned!   Mayhap he compensating...?

Dark Matter

We swath in Dark Matter.

Yes, verily we Dark.

Dark...dark...dark.

темный...темный...темный.

Hmmm.  Mayhap flowers clash on our Dark theme...

Hmmm yes.  Probably we best lose flowers...

Oh, the irony, the IRONY!

Hmm.

Hmmm.

We discover stealth hiding place of attractive power washer...

But, alack, we unable to reach handle to open door...

A thousand curses at our vertically challenged ancestral DNA...

Seek and ye shall Find

Ah HA!

After much seeking and suspicion we stealth discover hiding place of power washer!

Oh ho, now we aid and abet spring cleaning!

Truly it wants that we find it.

Mayhap actually it discovers we!