Free Range Gnomes

Attactics

2012-01-10T15:54:00.001-05:00

Favourite gift: Hefty Instruction Manual prepare for attack of tacky Red-Hat Garden Gnomes.

Attacky Garden Gnomes.

Yes Red-hatted Gnew World gnomes...gnomes-come-lately...

We original Olde Worlde Gothic Gnomes... authentical gnomes.

They... usurp...

We prepare to defend!

Father Frost & Snegurochka

2012-01-07T13:46:00.005-05:00

Aggh! Дед Мороз and Снегурочка arrive by stealth while we asleeping!

We exert to remain awake to receive them, but we cannot remain eyes wide all gnight.

But happily they leave by with подарки! We belt carols... you join me in Tri belyh konya?

Rather we sing Pesnya Deda Moroza instead?!

Enter the Chocolate Gnome

2012-01-06T23:52:00.000-05:00

Behemouth chocolate gnome arrives! Regard rich chocolatey chocolate!

Smell rich chocolatey chocolate...

Truly Christmas commence with chocolate...

...and terminate with presents!

*Yawn!* We struggle to remain awake!

Mayhap we eat behemouthy chocolate to remain us awake!

'Twas the gnight before Orthodox Christmas

2012-01-05T23:50:00.000-05:00

Tis the gnight before Orthodox Christmas and all 'round the yard...
Gnot a creature is stirring, except two plethora obedient loyal trustworthy honorable gnomes who work very hard...

Truly we deserving of many gifts and presents!

Gifts and presents?

Yes, and chocolates...! OH, hardly we sleep, we so excitable!

The Year of the Gnome

2012-01-04T16:29:00.002-05:00

Happy Gnew Year!

Yes, truly 2012 belong to we!

2012 designation Year of the Gnome!

Fortune smile upon we; Gnomes everywhere bask in слава!

Our Time Comes!

Be-having

2011-12-01T13:57:00.000-05:00

Mmmft! so gnot funny, Vladimir! I see gnothing!

Ah haha, truly you funnyish with gno head.

Mayhap I design you gno head... awesome behaving especially important this season. Prank not or we receive coal as receivable in stockings!

Oh! Oh! Yes! Estimable reminder of opportunistic opportunity to admirable behaviour... what shall we do to curry favours?

Fa La La La La

2011-11-26T08:44:00.001-05:00

Regard us our spifft Santa Hats!

Yes we acquire seasonal Joy and Joyness!

Mayhap we acquire us seasonal GIFTS to accompany our Joy and Joyness...

Yes, truly we behave angelic... no carbon lumps for we...! (Make gno mention of power washer incidentals...)

Odyssey from Occupying

2011-11-16T16:02:00.001-05:00

Finally we return home!

As Odysseus from Troy, we wonder lengthy time...memoryless and...

*Ahem!* Odysseus wandering, not wondering!

What!?!?

He wander home from Troy - Lotus Eaters, Cyclops, Sirens...plethora troubles.

Truly? Methought he wondering (amnesiac, like own selves)! Forgot how to get home to Ithaca for decade!

Mmm yes, certain he wander ten years, not wonder ten years.

Occupation Gnomes

2011-10-29T11:24:00.000-04:00

We Occupying. Occupying such stylish now. We quite fashionable with Occupation.

Yes truly we Occupy on behalf of all Occupiers.

Yes Occupiers have much grievances to Occupees.

Occupees?

Yes, those against whom Occupyers occupy....

Ah, yes. If only we able to remember who occupy what!

Total un-Recall

2011-10-27T12:44:00.002-04:00

No no we not fakers... we genuinely amneezed selves!

No, indeed... "we" not fakers, you faker!

We plethora amneezed, as such we forget birthday of our own human! Truly we ungracious gnomes!

You ungracious! I excused for amneezing myself.... truly you some bit annoying me, whoever you are!

Hedge-jacking Amnesia

2011-10-10T07:38:00.000-04:00

Yes tragically I experience complete memory evaporating -- which render me truly innocent from hedge-jacking hi-jinx.

So you pleading innocent by insanity?

Ex-actly! I insanely innocent! Truly I insane... Poor woeful Vladimir! He amnesia victim.... like yourself...

Wait... you recalling own self name! And you recalling I amnesial -- You have gnot memory evaporation! You... faker!

Caught Red-Hooded

2011-10-04T08:40:00.001-04:00

Methinks you caught red-hooded! Dissemble no more - you busted - not framed!

Ah ah ah... I know gnothing of this entropic rubble! Bewilderment is I! Truly my mind void - as like Robert Ludlum Boring Identity -- blank but in plethora trouble!

Indeed plethora ... now we both amnesial!

Oh! and you, small hooded one, who...who are you? Ohhh I remember gnothing!

Framed!!!

2011-10-02T17:24:00.000-04:00

Aggh! How arrives smoking-hedge-trimmer-of-death to my own foot? Who likely perpetrate such deed of dastardliness? We looking bad...

We looking bad? WE looking bad?? Vicinity manifest no other visible perpetrator... verily, you only hypothetic perpetrator!

No no! Truly I... framed!

The Smoking Gun

2011-10-01T18:44:00.001-04:00

Whaa... what happen? Someone invade to do gigantuan mess!

Someone?

Regard volume of shrubberies massacred...truly devastation...

Uh.. methinks you kernel of such destruction....

Me? I have memory blank! Like you...I remember gnothing!

Regard power hedge trimmers near your feet.... and ...it ... smoking...!

Agh! Verily you correct -- smoking hedge trimmer....!

Missing mnemosyne

2011-09-29T16:47:00.000-04:00

Oh Mother of Muses and Memory! Yet cloudy up inside brains from shock at head. Truly I know not self. Verily, even I not certain of you...

Me?? Ah haha me? Still I trusted...

Someway I just not feeling the love... loud brain part warning against trust for you...Such woe to loosen memory. Even hood feeling mist!

Amnesia

2011-09-27T15:11:00.000-04:00

One month you amnesiac, Greta. Collect and proceed! Chop chop!

Verily, I linger so memory clouded...partial recalling you approach...i reverse...reverse...

No no Greta, exert gnot with memory attempts... relaaaaaax... go forward, not back....

Distinctly I remember you approach me... i reverse.... and then....

No no no Greta, we look for ward, not behind! Continue at future we must!

Treed again

2011-08-29T13:00:00.000-04:00

Plethora fooies, Irene make heavy arrival.

Truly we gnuisanced under fallen branch! Such luck we gnot sustaining injurious damages.

Twice times 2011 we captivating under fallen tree branch!

Mayhap we cleave force and together push for uncumberment...

Mayhap we call SOS for rescue...

Irene, Greta, and Vladimir

2011-08-28T13:15:00.001-04:00

Manny fooies on such undignifiedness we suffer for hurricaning! Truly we dis-appreciate bungle-cording of we.

I vague from memory skip still after fall... but yes we appear quite battened!

Still I make profession of opinions for which we help protect against hurricaning. Release we for hurricane help for disasterish consequencing!

The Return of the Gnative

2011-08-27T11:02:00.000-04:00

W-w-what happen? I faint? Ohhhh, I some bit ache...

Oh Greta... you...uh... you slip ... you make fall but... I catch to help you... you survive small brush with gravity. You project robust health now, yes? All ok?

Hmm... I feel memories return as also I return...

No No! Spend no attention to such memories... you still some bit not all here... see I still see through you!

Richter Gnome

2011-08-25T09:33:00.000-04:00

Earth Trembling - punishment for mishap of Greta. Verily I make plethora pennances!
Woe of contrite Vladimir with sobering pledges!

Is there a doctor in the house?

2011-08-21T14:16:00.000-04:00

Speak at me Greta....! Hello? You in there? I make much concern for you!

Quick find us our magic spell book...

Return back.... revive! I make all out to you!

Ach with magical medicals we revive her....

I arrive at rescue for you...!
я действительно жаль. возвратитесь я никогда не плохо себя веду снова...

Gnome Overboard

2011-08-20T11:28:00.000-04:00

Uh oh. Greta...? Speak to us, Greta! Small mishap gnot intentioned... Greta? Greta? Truly I make plethora sorries at you... please to say some small words for reassuring and forgiving... oh Greta, I much heartfull sorries!

Gno Exit

2011-08-16T15:11:00.001-04:00

Truly, Greta, you foil me with annoying preventions! You flea at my side!

Thorn in side... approach gnot or we give up to gravity both

Don't Make Me Come Out There!!!

2011-08-14T08:51:00.000-04:00

Oh we SO ground now!

Look what you do!

No look what you do!

No, you....!

Tug o War

2011-08-12T11:57:00.000-04:00

Stop!!!!

You stop!

No you stop!

I stop if you stop!

You stop first!

No you stop first!

Catch me if you Can!

2011-08-10T09:46:00.000-04:00

Truly, you infurious, Vladimir! You tangle me purposely!

Gnot at all - I sharing as we agree! You hold hose and I hold Power Washer. We co Operation!

This not co Operation! You demobilize me and take your way with Power Washer! Arrest your dashing! My turn is come!

Gnegotiating

2011-08-08T07:18:00.001-04:00

We return to good grace after much penitentiaries and access birthday gift of Power Washer.

We make turns for first usage... methinks *I* initiate...

No, *I* hold as *you* activate water power!

Truly *I* more responsible party for controlling power washer.

No, *I* experience of Power Tools so...

Aggh we be Ground again if we gnot cooperate.

OK. We cooperate. *I* use first..

Down on the Farm

2011-08-06T09:31:00.001-04:00

Regard our bounteous harvest! Certain now we return forgiven!

Hmmm. Methinks we find some few tomato fruits in your tummy! Truly more plethora of tomato fruits than here!

Ah but they green and small and hard. And gnot tasty....

Ah HA, i suspect truth!

Plantation Gnomes

2011-08-05T07:30:00.000-04:00

We toil in hot sun for garden harvest... sweatings sting eyes...

Vladimir you so drama. We atone "our" (*ahem*) misbehavings to escape DogHouse.

Mayhap we sing peasant songs to ease work load...! Bag powerful heavy...song arriving in throat...назад в былые времена...

Please not to s--Hey, what the -- you eat! You sneak snacks!

Ah..heh heh...tiny taste for crop acceptableness. I quality control!

Ha more we need you Quantity control! I check bag!

Gnomes Unplugged

2011-08-04T15:05:00.001-04:00

We much boring in Dog House. And dark! Necessitate we compensations for return of good graces.

Fortuitous idea! We wood chip for pulverize yard wastes, yes!?

No! Power Tool lust causation of us trouble. Mayhap we harvest vegetable garden...

We assume hedge trimmers and massacre rampant shrubberies?

NO! No Power Tool activities. Only manual methodologies.

Mayhap we use our manuals to ignition Power Tools....

Gnomes in the Dog House

2011-08-03T07:23:00.001-04:00

Oh we shamed! We hang hoods in contritely mortificating!

We some bit unfairly shamed...truly small disagreeing for sharing...

We selves in Dog House in Time Out! We exhausting from chase and we punished and we have confiscating Power Washer! We woeful miserable.

Mayhap I stealthy retrieve Power Washer while gnobody gnotice!

No, Vladimir! You badly behaving suffer us already and incur us ire! We must do amending penances and curry favours for absolvement!

On the Run

2011-08-02T13:13:00.000-04:00

I *puff puff* gaining at you, Vladimir! I take over you!

No! *puff puff* Fleeting I run from you...*pant pant*...

You run fast yes *pant pant* but you inable for hide. I wearying you....you slow soon and then... I put you in corner...

Siege

2011-07-29T08:18:00.000-04:00

Agh she siege me! I concealed yet captived in stealth grotto ... in gneed of invisibility spell... but how smuggle Power Washer without draw gnotice?

Ah! She turn for distraction.. quick make I dashing sprint? or re-search again spell for disappearances...? Oh, distract... distract...! Look yonder!

Incognomo

2011-07-28T07:57:00.000-04:00

Ah! I incognition here in ferny flora... she gnever suspect hidden grotto... stealthy I secret myself.

Truly methinks own self deserving birthday Power Washer. Me, myself, plethora experienced in Power Toys, uh.. Power Tools...

Mayhap I teach Greta some few power skills .. after I test drive giften Power Washer.

AWOL

2011-07-27T17:31:00.000-04:00

Stop! You corrupt Power Washer! Was gift to we both! Vladimir!

Ha HA! Catch *puff * puff* me! Law is nineteenths possession! Quickly I flee!

Vladimir, you vigorously gnavish... *puff * puff* arrrghh!

I first usage destiny! Regard *pant * pant* my speediness!

HydroGnomes

2011-07-25T11:17:00.000-04:00

oh we thrilling with gift! Personalized Power Washer of our own selves!

Truly we free range power washers!

Such fortitude we carry!

Such Hydronical strength!

Greta, methink I be primary Hydrognome...

Happy Birthday for Us!

2011-07-23T07:30:00.000-04:00

Today! Today! Today!

Yes, we -- Greta!!! You grow... tall...!

Today we arrive at birthday 113th!

Over night! You grow...!?

Suppose we request birthday coffee for begin celebration?

You more tall than... ME!

Sugar?

Ahhh! Greta, you elevate on pedestal! *Ahem!* MY pedestal...!

Cream?

Greta...we exchange places after some time?

Birthday countdown

2011-07-22T13:02:00.000-04:00

One day more! We counting!

113! So fast we grow up!

Yes, Greta you almost high as me now. Mayhap you find growth spurting!?

We celebrate birthdays - ice creams? Cakes? Disneyworld?

Cleanliness is Gnext to Gnomliness

2011-07-18T21:52:00.001-04:00

hmm... regard us! We infinitely cleanly now!

Much improved we feel! Intensely attractive we be! Sparkly bright we are!

Yes, we powerful cleanly! Truly we approaching alabaster white!

Oh, admire us our gnew cleanishness! Fans must needs wear sunglasses for our dazzleness!

LaundroGnomes

2011-07-17T08:35:00.001-04:00

Aaaggghhh! Sspllfft! Plaagh!

We force-cleaned!

Stealth attack from GrimeBuster!

We melllllting! We mellllting!

Oh... but... regard the brownness of water leaving us...

Mayhap in truth, we carry some bit grime...

Attack of the Power Washer

2011-07-13T14:26:00.005-04:00

Ach! Powerwasher attacking we gnomes! Help! Help!

We captivated! He tangle us fearsomely!

Mayhap we appearance ourselves grimy?

Oh gno, we hoping he gnot power wash us...

PowerGnomes

2011-07-12T11:18:00.000-04:00

It arrives! Tis the seasonal season for power tools! Power hedgers, power mowers, power washers...

Divine we that Power GrimeBuster arrive by stealth last night?

Truly this is sign...a message for we powerful Gnomes! Mayhap we obliging to lend for some powering!

Uh, I think you mean borrow for some powering...

I borrow it to you after I finishing power GrimeBusting....

Solidarity!

2011-07-09T10:42:00.000-04:00

We flocking to Bolungarvik for Solidaritarizing with Peevish Icelandish Elfs.

Yes we join with hidden people opposition for avalanche barricades:
"2-4-6-8!
Gno More Dynamate!"

Here we hiatus our protesting and pranking to make hot springs visit - very gnice waters.... ahhh!

Lucky Like

2011-07-03T16:17:00.003-04:00

Already Lucky Lagomorph bring us lucky luck!

Yes! Regard where lucky luck make LIKE button to appearance on world famous gnome blog!

Two LIKE buttons - oh, plethoras of LIKE buttons on all entries! Such exciting buzz for our fortune and fame!

Plethoras of LIKES we attracting from admiring fans!

Oh, we so famous!

Rabbit luck

2011-07-01T09:11:00.001-04:00

"RABBIT!" We invoking small lagomorph this first of July for luck.

Yes, hoping big-eared small one retains mystical powers (much like ourselves) to spread удача for we and our humans.

Sinisterness and scaryness will gnot dare to approach us!

Yes, we quite safe from unlucky luck this month!

And yet.... somehow... I feeling vague sense of...

Rabbiting

2011-06-05T09:16:00.005-04:00

Mystrious Lagomorph lurking. We make noticing June 1, but wethinks mayhap he appearance himself priorily.

Rather he appreciating us here; he most respecting and admiring of us.

Mayhap he invoked for archaic human ritual to "Pronounce Rabbit" first time of first gnew month day?

Mayhap he hear tails of INFamous bloggstar Gnomes of Cambridge and arrive to make us tributaries...

You mean... he pay tribute at us...?

Whateverish...

Gnarrow Escape

2011-06-04T11:15:00.002-04:00

Torpedoes sweep through Massachusetts! We remain low profile to escape destructive funnel. Truly we become pioneer storm chasers!

Uh, mayhap you mean Tornadoes...?

Ach, torpedoes... tornadoes...

Keeping up with the Montagues

2011-02-18T11:12:00.002-05:00

New World Gnomes recent arrivals to Gnomish culture. Red hats and moonish faces lacking dignifying bearing of we Olde Worlde Gothic gnomes.

Gnever was a story of more woe than this of Juliet & her Gnomeo.

Truly, we bite our thumbs at them!

Confessions of Snow Magnates

2011-02-04T19:23:00.000-05:00

We confess...We guilty. We bring massive snows to attack Gnew England!

Yes, our powerfulness summon crippling snowstorm; truly we magnatic for snow.

All in path of destruction fear us... we massively potent!

Mayhap we conjure Oobleck next...

We Attractive

2011-01-30T09:23:00.000-05:00

Ah, understand! Snow magnets - attract consistent snows. we cultivate magnet powers for elements...

...elements - gold, silver, uranium...?

No, elements as weather.

Prefer we moguls....not magnets...

Gnor'easter

2011-01-28T20:23:00.000-05:00

Snowfall amplitude wearying. And undignified.

Yes. We become... blobs!

Hummocks! Snow bumps. Mere moguls.

Moguls!? Moguls? Ah, we Moguls... titans of industry. Magnates...

Magnets? Yes, we snow magnets!

Gnomus Major

2011-01-21T08:58:00.000-05:00

Regard! We discover appropriater constellation for Zodiacal signs!

Celestial Sphere, Gnomus Major!

Certainly from Eudoxus of Cnidus' lost catalogue of constellations - 400 BC!

Yes, or mayhap Ptolemy!

We truly Timeless...

New Zodiac MisGnomer

2011-01-19T12:49:00.000-05:00

From regal king of beasts to walking-sideways-crab? Is joke? Such undignification we dislike with many vehements.

Yes we fall from grace... Leo to Cancer! Such insignificance!

And faintness, too! Cancer is faint constellation.

Bah! Regard! Gnot even look crabbish! Where do Astrologicals see crab resembling such randomness?

Truly I think I see better lion than crab in arrangement...

Thunder Snow

2011-01-12T09:20:00.000-05:00

Oh woe are we!

Falling branches crash over us!
Lightning! Thunder! Heavy snow!

Regarding us in mortal danger!

Brave we are, we intrepid snow vitamins, we survive!

Uh.. you mean to say veterans.. we intrepid snow veterans!

Fur Auld Lang Syne

2010-12-29T09:26:00.001-05:00

Remembering why we gnot so cold back in olden years.

Yes, furring robes quite comfy and stylish!

Truly we look exaggerated, yes? Furrings suiting us royally!

Admire us our hot look! We ready for Gnew Year! Thanks to Elizabeth-the-Great!

Hunkering for the Holidays

2010-12-08T17:38:00.000-05:00

Abbreviated days return with extenuating gnights. 'Tis the season to hunker.

Yes, we hunker for cold and dark. Truly the air becomes chilling!

Soon we hoard Christmas candy and gifts. Supposing we do some shopping soon....

Solstice will turn days longer finally. We hunker till then. *sigh*

Dopplegangers

2010-11-14T08:12:00.003-05:00

Hark! We yearnful to discover Doppleganger ... and yet ... even I sense they present...

Yes, truly I feel they promixate to us this moment! in back ground...

But where? Regard thoroughly around - mayhap they await discovery...

A Snickers Bar Too Far

2010-11-10T13:55:00.000-05:00

Alacrity, Greta! Clear coast for escaping embarrassing ER visit...

Tch! Vladimir I foretell such disasterings for ingesting Hallowing candy in same swoop!

Desist, desist from admonishings. Truly tummy pump punish many folds for gluttonous mistake. We make tracks before fans gnotice....

Loot!!!

2010-11-01T11:54:00.000-04:00

Ah such loot we reaping from local Trick and Treat! Truly Hallowing most lucretious holiday!

Alas 364 days exist until next Hallowing... we begin feast!

Vladimir, recalling gluttony of some previous years - mitigate yourself to gnot eat all candy in once!

Tch! Greta, speak gnot of ancient histories ... great pains in tummy emanate from... from... change in weather, gnot candied abundance....

Dark Gnights

2010-10-28T10:58:00.003-04:00

Ghoulish disguising for Hallowing! Truly, we ghastly!

Yes and we spectral, too!

Yes, spectral and macabre, and mysterious yet! Even we throw fear to all who approach.

But gnot mailman.

No, gnot package delivering humans.

Tree Range Gnomes

2010-10-16T17:00:00.000-04:00

Hyperboled wind blew rigorous to cleave mighty elm tree!

Truly, snapping like toothpick! Debris smother our yard and neighbour yard. Regard such damage!

Alas, casual chimney rip by roots! Such miserable sound tearing twisted metal crashing...

We must come to rescue... we trek to roof?

Red Riders

2010-09-05T07:23:00.000-04:00

Regard us a new toy! Powerful engine! Large openings! Smelling greasy with petrol! Ahh!

Yes, and also gnice colour of red like traktor...

We investigate power switch...mayhap we gneed helmets to ride...

Mayhap we investigate before mounting --

Batten down the Gnomes

2010-09-03T13:57:00.001-04:00

We chase hurricane with powerful persuasion. Truly we have lengthish wait for alphabetations to "V" for Hurricane Vladimir.

Ah but fewer wait for Hurricane Greta...

Hapless to be Omega area of Alphabet... 17 hurricanes between Earl and Vladimir. I await my close-up!

Meantime we be battenning down...

Fenway bound

2010-08-18T17:02:00.001-04:00

we bored! august days with too much dog.

gno traktor. gno power tools. gno coffee. gno humans. gno capitals. we much bored.

We seeking excitements - mayhap RedSox fans recognizing us world famous gnomes?

Regard us awaiting on steps for ticketing....

Birthdays R we!

2010-07-23T20:49:00.000-04:00

112 years we have now!

Truly gnome years pass different from human years.

Yes, still we adolescenting!

Me, I still prefer 111. Much gnicer number.

When we permitted to operate vehicles and heavy machinery?

Hmm, gnot sure enough gnome years ever for that...

Many happy birthdays to us! We live long and prospering!

...it hums for thee....

2010-07-22T11:53:00.001-04:00

Hmm. Mayhap different button ingition us? We residual at stationary location!

Mayhap we bias a bit more forwarding? OK? один...два...три -- lean front!

hmm. Yet gnothing. We inertiaed! Law of Gnewton -- we bodies resting remain resting.

How to initialize motion.. hmmm...

Ask gnot for whom the lawn mower hums....

2010-07-21T07:43:00.001-04:00

We gnotice grass gneeding shave... ah look, smallish tractor... surely gnot hard to arouse and mobilize...

Vladimir, this predicting immediate trouble! Step away from enginey thing...

Hmmf, you rain no fun on my brilliance! We helping with yard maintainment!

Yes, recalling "Gnome Ranger" of power hedge trimmers last time... Hurricane Vladimir punish yard... i fear...

No fear, we watch many times humans ride lawn tractor. Help me look for "start" button....

Rain Reigns

2010-07-13T15:46:00.000-04:00

We serious flagging still... see how we committed?! No aliasing here, suspicions arresting.

Yes, we just homely gnomelies... make ready for anticipate deluge... flashing floods... great torrenting of downpours... we securing perimeter... mayhap we switch on sump pump at critical moment... where is ark when we gneed...?

Red, White, & Blue

2010-07-01T17:58:00.000-04:00

Look! We all Stars & Stripey! Gno Russian spying here! We aggressive patriotic!

Fearing we magnet suspicion now with news break of Cambridge Couple secret Russian spies. We thinking Cold War finish, but mayhap Warm War.

We so famous; gnatural we attract gnotice! Truly we just law-abdicating citizens! We know gnothing!

Ahem, mayhap we sing American nationalist songs .....!

ET Phone Gnome

2010-06-04T06:25:00.000-04:00

Ahem, Vladimir... mayhap alien request to present to Leader, not Weeder? He gnew with English, so likely garble some languageisms, gnot like we who discourse variedly with vast vocabularies!

Perforcely you surmising, Greta, gno doubt he missioning to Leader - interestinger than weeder! Mayhap message from outerest space for all Gnomekind! Rightly he selection us for contact!

Such excitation!

Red Among Reds

2010-06-03T10:50:00.000-04:00

Looking quite brilliant to camouflage... he in guise of red, to blending with plethoring of red flowerings. He barely gnoticed among such vermillions!

We witness to truly intelligent alien life arriving for Close Encounter; we at precipice of historical creating!

However, concern with weeds still some bit confusing....

Take Me to Your Weeder

2010-05-31T15:24:00.000-04:00

Truly we inhabitation of spritely garden, far between few weeds!
In fact, we diligence weeders, togethering tall human weeder too. You like to meet obsessing weeder human? She quite funny-ish. You like weeding? Weeding much on your planet? Why so silencing? You mayhap awesomed to my fearfulness?

Close Encounter of the Gnome Kind

2010-05-29T16:58:00.009-04:00

Look, Greta! Alien arrival! Gnew life form approach!

Honest, Vladimir, sometimes I think you quite alien...

He friendlyness... approach to shaking hand. What greeting we say of alien visitor?
Доброе утро! Как дела? Откуда Вы прибываете?

Hmmm... he silences! Mayhap he fearsome of me..? Quite possible... likely! I make ease for him....

Flower Power

2010-05-03T18:23:00.001-04:00

Ah such smelly flowerings, surround splashing colours and ancient druid secrets. Truly springy feverings rampaging, flower power awaiting.

Mayhap I recalling recipes for spelling cast... er, for casting spell... use of such flower plantings in olden days quite powerful....

Hmmmm.... what to spell?

Lawn Service

2010-04-20T07:30:00.004-04:00

Hark! Who dare plant such banner... here? Whom calling "pest"? Such implication we disappreciate!

Tranquilize, Vladimir... truly over react.

Pfffff! Suggest we apply to be pest? Suggest we applied at lawn as pest? Suggest...

No one label us "pest"...

AH, mayhap a typo... in truth suggest we "Best" .... others gneed gnot to apply?

Cloak of Invisibility

2010-03-29T18:08:00.003-04:00

Such gnews! Invisibility cloak! Truly objects vanish from view in three dimensions!

Hmmf! Dubiousness of such magic. This gnot Hogwarts.. this Cambridge!

German scientist... Karlsruhe Institute of Technology! Former Kernforschungszentrum Karlsruhe...

Vladimir, we trying invisibility once, you recalling 2007 November?

Here, I quote Science: "Invisible cape...made of crystals ...air spaces ... bend light to hide...

Agh, here goes we again... invisibleness gnot suiting to me!!!!!

UNundead at last

2010-03-12T09:09:00.000-05:00

Aaaggghhhhh! Such conversions from UNdead to unUNdead!
Negating moleculicity of structurals between worlds.... exhausting truly... I drain... but gnormal at last.

Why such events always befall Vladimir, who only wish peaceness and safety for all... truly we need vacation.

2B or not 2B

2010-03-11T16:06:00.003-05:00

Cure to riddance of UNdead Vampyrishness!
Under moonish night... dig deepish circle hole... line with starlight and raindroppings... two clovings garlic at bottom.
Make breath then, hood-in at 64 degree angle... for all blood to fall to head... inhaling garlicky fume... counting to 100.

Opening eyes to see if reflection yet in dark of hole. If yes, then Vampirishness solution successfully!

Up a Tree

2010-03-06T15:10:00.001-05:00

You there, small boney one!
You daren't descend -- fearing unDead reefercussions!
Truly I ferocious you up up up and away from lurking and haunting gnuisancing!
HaHA...I guardianing gnobly as unDead.... you stay high and ... awayish...

Twilight

2010-02-13T19:23:00.006-05:00

Now I hang with celebrity вампир - Truly, I and товарищ Edward ... we become chummy ... hang out ... chew fat... drink pints... (though truly, we regard Bella some bit boring.)
Mayhap Cullen adoption to family... hoping they gnot regard me competitous (for alpha vampyre...) some вампир a bit gnasty... and scary!

Quoth the Gnomen, "Gnevermore"...

2010-01-30T21:51:00.001-05:00

Owwww! Full moon call me! I rise to occasion, open cloak, take wing, like летучая мышь...

Vladimir, full dramatics call you! What you up to now with towel?

True Vampyre needing respectful cloak! I borrow...Mayhap I quoth "Nevermores"...

Nevermore qothed by Raven, not Bat!

Gnosferatu

2010-01-27T12:20:00.002-05:00

Agh, save me from loathfull self -- such sorry tragedy to become UNdead...

Vladimir, I tell you, we gnot UNdead, you gnot Vampyre!

...how happened this ghoulishm? Mayhap ancestrals from Transylvanian descent... very adjacent to Russia...

Vladimir, you desist such insaniting! And remove sillyness of tomato hoop...

It is cage...for I be dangerous! I roam earth under cover of gnight, search for... oh too terrible to consider...

Ach, serousness - if you truly Vampyre, so why you out making such moans under cover of bright sunshine?

Here be Vampyres?

2010-01-24T18:38:00.000-05:00

Mayhap we be Vampyres? Truly not reflecting

Hmm, dubiously we NOT-dead, which similarly not as UN-dead....

Truly, NOT un-dead, which be double negativity...which mean...

Opposite....Wait....! We... dead?

Ah, for certain we see some hazy imaging... please?

Worser and worser...

2010-01-04T15:35:00.005-05:00

Mfffxxxxbbbbff! Soon we be frozen fossils, bury for epochs under glacier layers....

Mmff! Mfmbmbff! Geologists discovery our bones with mastodon skeletons and peaty materials!

Ohhh, we doomed, we doomed! Where Global Warming when so gneedy!

Mfffmfmfmf! To rescue! Melt us! Set FREE us from frozen tomb of silentness and white!

Avalanche?

2010-01-02T17:42:00.001-05:00

Mmmffff... this MUCH undignified!

We cannot see out!

Or speak out!

We buried!

Mffbbbffxxx...

How cold was it?

2009-12-29T10:41:00.001-05:00

We gnot cold! We hardy Russian gnomes... where bones bite from true fridgidness. But truly, it blows fierce wind today....

Scarfs just for decorative... fashion announcement.

Mm, mayhap you mean fashion statement...

Yes, statement of us to be not cold.

Mayhap we find fashion statement hat too?

Boxing Day

2009-12-26T08:54:00.004-05:00

Merry Boxing Day! After busy gnight for help Saint Nicolas with some few erranding, we exhaust of chimneys!

But gnot of presents! Regard such gnice stockings, full and puffy...

Yesterday we wrap, cook, deliver, clean...finally we scrub from sooty stacks to open herewith stockings! Christmas not happen without we helpers.

Today, we boxing.

Yes we much deserving of OFF DAY.... so hard working are we....

The Day After

2009-12-22T07:56:00.001-05:00

Regard us our gnew heights! Truly hats grow taller than we.

And, we survey blizzard postmath, beautious wonderland, like olden days.

Much shovel and scraping ahead, we mayhap start handing out shovels.... we such helping hands, truly we "keepers".

And mayhap we stay up for midnight New Years?

Hat Envy

2009-12-06T10:45:00.001-05:00

Ah, freezing snow makes truly glamming Santa hat with me, think you?

Hmmm, ye-es, but once melting, it likely flop over again... but mine...

Regarding puffy eleganting of symmetry, truly I musing right now my hat quite more bigger of our two...

Well, right now...is tricky, as sun moves to us I thinking you lose superior hatting.

Fawlty Hat

2009-12-05T13:09:00.001-05:00

How to be Christmas Gnome when my hat refuse to cooperate! Much encouragement needed for it to stand tall.

Yes, truly my hat raise tall and pointy!

Fmmmf! I try but my hat habit to fall over to side. Arrggh!

Yes, MY hat much the stronger!

Get your Gnomes out of the Gutter

2009-11-29T10:39:00.001-05:00

Hmmm, some few leafs cloggiing gutters...much twigs and dirt...

Very slopey steep up here, I feeling gravity slidings...

And what be these smallish clumps?

Ahem....seemingly raccoons using roof for...

Ewwwww...!

We best wait for help....

Skeleton Standoff

2009-11-17T14:47:00.005-05:00

выйти! Shoo! уйти! Haunting time long gone! Away you brittle bundle of bones! Poof! You disappear now!

We all seriousness! You, скелет in tree! We come and get you! Gno hiding from us...we gnot kidding!

You femurs not toooo scary big!

Hmm, I afraid of height! Mayhap I am stuck!

Liquid Gnomes

2009-11-14T12:57:00.003-05:00

We dissed on FaceBook for "back-seat yardworking"!

Regard you our diligence, slavering away in such pouring rain...

Up on slippery ladder - we so small and mere - to reach treetops for snippings and shrubbings...

Robes leaking cats and dogs... soaking in eyes and noses...

We so Gnonappreciated...

Garden Gnomes

2009-11-13T14:12:00.003-05:00

we make marveling effort on branches and shrubbings! Many piles of debris!

Yes, look you busy as we pose for photo of efforts and accomplishings!

15 barrels of branches and weeding! We make marathon yard cleanup!

Mayhap we now ask for ice scream and popcorn?

Tied in Gnots

2009-11-02T20:58:00.000-05:00

Aggh, we entangled with stringed Jacking Lantern and scary skulls! They not ridding of us, we tied up!

Already time for next holiday lightings and decoratings but we ensnared with binding lights!

Hostages to Halloween!

DejaVu all over again

2009-11-01T11:19:00.002-05:00

Wondrous fortune to set clocks back day after Halloween! We re-experience yesterday once more...

Vladimir, I think we do not reset clocks full day, only full hour.

...two Halloweens, twice the candies...truly 2009 maGNificent year...should we re-dress?

Vladimir, listen! Sad to disappoint, but 365 days until we Halloween again.

Magic Trix

2009-10-09T18:53:00.001-04:00

Mayhap we do some entertainment for great sucking up for Hallowing permissions to Trick & Treat?
Yes, a song... a dance? I read poetry?
No, much better -- a Magical Show! Ah, I know amazing trick... Greta, lie down.. just here...

Oktober!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-10-04T08:52:00.001-04:00

uh oh...Oktober arrive... we must settle Strike!
Ah yes, best behaviour for Oktober!
Release signs and pickets!
Truly we lucky for home and family! Yes, we much appreciating good fortune!
Still some few weeks to resurrect good graces and charms...
Yes, yes, we throw off all attitudes today. Mayhap some yard clean-up for startings?

S-T-R-I-K-E!

2009-10-01T11:06:00.002-04:00

We demand rights!
And conditions!
And rights to conditions!
We see movie Gnorma Rae...
TV, popcorns, ice screams!
Manicures, Massage!
Power Tools!

Help! Help!

2009-09-28T14:53:00.001-04:00

Oh the indiGNity!
We captured and taken as slavery!
Like common criminals!
Beasts of burden!
Oh! Oh! Resist! Resist!
Quick, make break for Pilates class... we run oppositely and gnot be taken down...